Sunday, November 21, 2010

how people suck @ FB


I read it somewhere that the highest population in 2020 will be in
  • India
  • China
  • Facebook
L.I.F.E. In Facebook is Exotic indeed, however,thanks to many that sometimes it looks like more of Exhausting instead of Exotic..

This are the just few aspects I see that really piss me off every single time, the extend of being pissed off can't be expressed in words though i am trying my level best to put the same
  1. Those who put Ultra-sentimental status messages(SM) every now and then:
U must have come across some SMs( or may have posted even in your wall) like. "I am broke and the one who broke it can only fix it" or "tears from my eyes in which she gazed once.

Yaaaawwwwwnnnnnn(I know its not polite but atleast its honest)

All I can say is Dude, get a life(or atleast, spare mine),
I have seen that even the quotes they keep as their SMs are generally copy,paste from some external sources and are not original. Just imagine, even,in the days of deepest gloom and despair, they don't forget to google "emotional/sentimental quotes" , and then Ctrl+Cing & Ctrl+Ving directly to their respective SM boxes. Feels like they dont even want to think deeply on their deepest gloom.

2. Those who alway cry

OMG, I am badly fucked, my life sucks etc etc.

Serious suggestion: why just dont you jump from the 15th floor of any building and see what happens. you can always share your views thereafter at your very own comunity "assholes@wesuck.com"

3. Those who use excessive high sounding english words in their SMs

yeaahh, I am talking about those who write "scintillating,scintillating asteriod minim" instead of twinke, twinke little star as their SMs

Dude, Dude, Dude, try your hands at GRE not on FB. apart from that, I sincerely hope that you screw these exams so badly that forget STANFORD, even SARLA BAI INSTITUE OF CERTIFIED ASSHOLES deny you a validated degree.These guys deserve the standing ovation of my middle finger.

4. Those who keep optimistic SMs no matter what.

What i mean is no matter whether they failed in 2 out of 5 exams or got 30.24%ile in CAT, their SMs will be something like
"someday sun wil shine just for me and i will rule the world"
(ok ok, got it, you are talking about the DAY when India will win the WC football defeating BRAZIL 10-0)
or some thing like"I am just waiting for the right time and right place"
(Sure sure,Cya, next millenium at planet jupiter)

5. FB Application users. ( Prayer time:dear god, please confer me the golden oppurtunity of hanging these guys till death so that my soul can rest in peace)
  • Worst is DAILY HOROSCOPE, it seems like may has subscibed to this because every morning, when I sign in my FB account, the 1st( perhaps 2nd, 3rd,4th....also)thing is this only.These people should be buried 11 feet under the ground ALIVE and while burring them, their daily horoscopes should be read loudly.
  • The other application I truly hate is " XYZ has new answers to unlock" application.When you unlock these "do or die" rated questions, you will come across questions like
a. do you think XYZ should do laundry more often.
b. do you think XYZ should wear tight clothes.
c. do you think XYZ has a funny looking nose.
etc etc.....( 15-20 Qs like these)

I am damn sure, none of XYZ, me or you or, as a matter of fact, even the Aborigines of Western Australia are anyhow bothered about it.i dont know why people do these( probably,i have to ask rajnikanth).What for these guys, well, nothing special,just rub their skin with sandpaper and then soak them in lemon juice.In between pull out their body hairs with a rusted pair of tweesers followed by fingernails and toenails

3. "How true is your love" application, when I played this game( or whatever it is), i got 98% (career best).I was smiling sheepishly coz it was true
30% for anamika
20% for tanya
35% for swati
13% for neha
but this smile was short lived coz when girls play the same game( or whatever it is) and get the same score, they also smile sheepishly as it is true for them also
30% from vineet
20% from sonu
35% from Rajesh
13% from anil
"please note that dese days, vineet, sonu, rajesh,anil can be replaced by vineeta,sonia, rajeshwari and anita also.....changing times u see"

Trust me guys, when Mark Zuckerberg, sitting in the cosy armchair eating caramel popcorn, sees these people, he must be laughing his ass off and muttering, hey assholes, because of you guys only, FACEBOOK is worth billions.

However, I thank FB for proffering me with options of
1. Hide this post
2. Hide all by Username(read son of a bitch)
3. mark as spam
which i use quite on a daily basis.
and by the way,what role i play in Facebook......well.....i am just a facebook stalker who, even being 24 hours online, rarely comes up with any updates but keep himself abreast with all the updates around.In short, Active Nonparticipating Facebook user...

PS:was just pissed off, so pissed on.

29 comments:

Dev said...

Good post man.... I've similar thoughts... but still I'd have to say... these updates make my life so much more fun... lol .... especially the sentimental ones... lol ...

Keep goin... and as this guy says...
JAI MATA DI!! LETS ROCK!!!!!!!!.... hahaha.....

Nethra said...

Good one. I come up with statuses like *bored* *peace* because I am so out of words and googling for emotional statuses isn't my cup of tea. Anyway, *bored* *smiles* won't take much space so less irritating, ain't it?

murthy_thehandsome(?) said...

dude, it's awesome as usual... especially the horoscope one... rotflol... dude, but c'mon if all these status msges arent there how are we supposed to have fun.. there should be something.. without all these FB wouldn't have become popular... c'mon i am sure u enjoy all these and not get frustrated... it's just like Ekta kapoor's policy of increasing TRP ratings... anyways lol post... enjoyed...

Soumya said...

Hahaha... Absolutely loved it!

Oflate the popular status is "Press like, if you like me; comment if you love me; post something on my wall if you adore me; send me a msg if you want to marry me... and similar blahs"

I was like, What does report abuse account to? I hate you or I want to kill you?

Deboprio Mukherjee(Deva) said...

Gr8 post man.I and Ankit(aka Kumar ankit aka Kumar ankit only..failed to copy the bond style coz he is Kumar Ankit only)used to follow ur blog regularly in my training days.It saved us from becoming De Caprio and his partner of Inception in class.

Thanks for visiting my blog brother.
Between I also stay at(not in because I habnt explored it much) Tamilnadu.We can have a booze party together.

http://debopriospeaking.blogspot.com (Shameless Advertising :P)

SHRUTHI MOHAN said...

lol..laughed a loott!!!that was a indeed a good post :D:D

vineet said...

@dev n murthy: yo assholes i knw u love doze seni shits, reminds u of ur glory days :P, arey 1ce or twice its ok bt every now n den?too much too much,i hope their wife also cheat to them with atleast 10 ther guys(read holy men), huh
@nethra:i agree, shrt n sweet is worth 2 read
@

vineet said...

@Soumya:even u r d victim of dese, nywaz, screw their blahs blahs on dere wall only, thnk god FB doent provide options like spit on the wall sort of else they wud hv died wet n i m serious regarding dis
@shruthi:thnks
@deva:nytym man, gv a call or msg me at gmail, i am at ur door den, chennai sux so we need to do sumthn top make merries :)

Aditya said...

ROFL. FB is popular for such people! :)

MangoMan said...

Honestly, some people do piss us off. In many ways, FB does as well. Well observed.

Maitreyee Bhattacharjee chowdhury said...

While I agree with much of what U say, & som of them were hilarious :))))...it's pretty obvious that U hav ethe wrong set of friends on FB..The best part is U choose yr friends & choose what U like..so may be a few f the right 'add' s & U'll see the brighter side to FB :)

vineet said...

@mangoman,aditya:thnks,FB rox basically n probably dose people also,coz of dem,its becomes more or less hap
@MBC:thnks,sumday hope dat wil b d picture too

Ankit said...

Even I am culprit of some of the aforementioned sentences :P

vineet said...

@ankit: so am I

Always Happy said...

hehe...loved it Vineet! good stuff

vineet said...

@AZ:thnks, all my pleasure

Mani Lalwani said...

nice read.. well researched .. huh ?
:p
Are u a certified "vella" or what ? ;)

vineet said...

@mani:yaa kinda owng to the fact dat i actually wrk in offce too n generally all my posts r created/fucked dere only,
cerified vella? honored baby

Avi said...

Funny indeed...""someday sun wil shine just for me and i will rule the world"" was the best one !! And I hate the FB apps too ! Going to share this post on FB now :D

STRANGER said...

Thanks Vineet for comments.

My blog is designed keeping in view the interest of all; Children, Students, Ladies, Gents, Elderly People etc. etc. and for those who are looking for neat and clean, informative stuff. Caste, Creed, Religion, Colour, Nationality have nothing to do with it. I focus only on Environment, Discipline, Culture, Maintaining values given by our elders.

My aim is to bring forth the “root cause” of all trouble around us in an attractive but in a funny manner, which, if addressed properly, can do miracles.

I request you to kindly read all conversation between Ronie (son) and his cunning Dad by choosing label “RONIE” and have fun reading all with your nearer and dearer.

BTW, your blog is fantastic and you have correctly pointed out that FB is turning merely copy paste and nothing else. You will find my blog containing purely my ideas, no adultration.

Best wishes and a Very Happy New Year.

Jai Shri Krishna

aakash said...

Pheww... You kick ass dude
Though I can't deny the fact that I am a FB addict, but yeah everything made sense.
One thing you shouldn't have missed though is the magical option of 'Tag'. Yeah, they tag our ass out into any random photo. I remember being tagged on a photo of a plate full of chocolates, on Rakshabandhan, and if that's not all, by a guy. :|
God bless!

vineet said...

@aakash: damn how can i miss that, really we shud hv written the post togethr n yeah me too a FB addict, nywaz nice thot of ursn thnks fr sure

Mayank said...

thats a good one. I wrote a similar one frustated with FB message as well... have to admit you got it nailed much better. Let me know what you think of this.
http://mayank-p.blogspot.com/2011/01/facebook-status-updates.html

Felicity said...

LOL @ scintillating,scintillating asteriod minim

Loved the post. :D

vineet said...

@mayank:uts was gud too man, infact u beat me dere..amazing

@felicity: glad u liked it :)

Between The Lines said...

LMFAO! xD

aditi rastogi said...

deactivated my fb account to have a life!god!these suckers at fb!and their brilliant english anticsXD

Live2cherish said...

Sai baba institute .. : hahhaha. omg!!! where did you get that from??? ROFL!!!

If you get the golden power for #5: do let me know, i will join the noble cause too.

Following you.Please update.

Live2cherish said...

oops my bad, its sarla bai institute. hehhe.