Monday, May 9, 2011

Letter to God's Meteorological Department

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To

The God

Head of Department

Weather Wing, Chennai zone

CC

The chairGOD

Lord of all wings

Kailash Parbat

Time: 12:30 pm IST

Dear God

Subject: Chennai Weather

I know you must be completely occupied with your December, 2012 plans but meanwhile, with due regards, I would sheepishly like to draw your attention towards the dismal weather scenario in Chennai. Its 2nd week of May and temperature is already soaring up to 44C. Sometimes, it feels that Equator’s epicenter is this place only and we are inside some kind of an unregulated oven. Humidity, BEWARE. Freaking 80%. It takes 20 minutes for the weather here to expose the brand of my baniyan (vests) I am wearing inside. Not only this, I have been sweating so badly that in the last few days I have tasted every salt my body has produced through the sweat and trust me it’s not NaCl(common salt), it taste way weird. About body odour, dude worst!!!! Guess what, if odour were visible, as color is, I'd see the summer garden in rainbow clouds.

God, as per my class 2nd Gulmohar books, there are 4 seasons. (World Meteorological Department later confirmed me as well) But it seems like you have completely forgotten about winter. About spring, don’t you even ask. People have even stopped expecting it here. Probably, the next generations of Chennai won’t even have the description of spring in their school-curriculum. Not fair god. It’s just summer and dreadful eternal summer here. And YOU MR. SIDNEY SHELDON, Nothing Last Forever, HUH, my foot. God, I am not accusing you but literally I feel that the sub ordinates to whom you have given the in charge of Chennai zone are perhaps busy listening to Radio Mirchi 98.3 FM, “its hot” without realizing the fact that Chennai is turning way hotter.

Trust me god, the constant sweating while watching cricket matches (IPL season 4 these days) is exceptionally irritating. You just imagine how you will feel when this same sweating annoys you while you are watching the classy dance of Urvashi and other apsaras.

Dear god, I don’t want to hurt your sentiments. In fact, I am a big follower of yours. I appreciate the way you designed the whole Darwinian thing to take place cell by call, gene by gene, one by one. You also made dinosaurs to extinct which I personally feel that you did the right thing. Do same with the cockroaches. Least to mention, you made India win the WC and I know deep inside that when that winning six was struck, it was not Dhoni, it was you.(okk fine, enough of buttering).

But god, please please pleases, for god’s sake, take Chennai seriously. After all, it’s a metropolitan (according to article 738:1939). Till today, DOORDARSHAN includes Chennai while telling the chaar mahanagron ka taapmaan during National NEWS, then why don’t you include it in your priority list. God please don’t concentrate all the UVs of India over us only. Distribute to Bangalore and Pune as well.

Awaiting immediate response

Truly yours (except in May)

Vineet Singh

Resident, Chennai

PS: That’s it, confirmed, I will go to hell. L

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

As usual.. Awesome post bhai.. maan gaye, aap ki likhne ki kala aur nirma super, dono ko...

aakash said...

You just ride the humor train.. :)
Loved every bit of the post. I guess Chennai might get a relief this year, all due to your valiant efforts..
Keep penning more frequently..

aJ

trish said...

d way u inculcate humour in ur posts is unmatched till date!awesome post n i guess god just heard ur request n he's shifting u elsewhere :P :)

Deepika said...

The indian idle is back in action again ... and much more idle now..hehe..
that was sooo hilarious.

specially And YOU MR. SIDNEY SHELDON, Nothing Last Forever, HUH, my foot.
heheh.. great one dude..
keep writing :)

Tanima said...

Nice work Vinit! Writing after a long time...

Felicity said...

It's hot here in Islamabad too. :(

Good post.

keerthu said...

Hey vineet!! this was the one u were typing yest in ur outlook????
Awesome man!!!!

Tanvi said...

hehehe :D nice one :) :) You won't go to hell, but surely to hospital with that kind of weather :D

Cheers,

tarunima said...

haha..nice post:)
i especially like the buttering part:)
is the weather that bad in chennai?
because i thought nothing would compare to delhi in that,its blistering in here:(

Mani Lalwani said...

Arey awesome bhaiya...
Love the way u almost effortlessly include humor in ur posts...
GURUJI :P

Alka Gurha said...

Vineet, enjoyed the post. Delhi is equally bad. We also have dust storms. Perhaps Blore can share some of its luck.
U hv a nice blog here.Thank u for visiting FREEBIRD.


Its a bit difficult to read on a black background.

cloud nine said...

awesome post Vineet:)the last line- confd, i will goto hell- hahaha! Happy to be following you yaar!

IRFANUDDIN said...

hahaa...enjoyed it a lot, as usual you are too good with humor in your write up....:))

and its not only Chennai in fact its too hot at my place also and the temperature is rising day by day like Corruption....:(

the other side of me said...

LoL..I had fun reading this letter,dont worry im sure there's a place for you in heaven!!! :D

Arti said...

Just awesome writing, so Witty! I hope God takes your plea seriously amid all the humour and laughing! And ya do keep us posted if you get any kind of acknowledgements/replies from HIM, from up there :D

vineet said...

@manu:kahan bhai, nirma super ke saamney meri kya aukaad :P

@aakash:thnks man, well god never seem to listen me seriosuly, another try though temperature still soaring :(

@trishla: kya baat hai janaab, dhanyawaad, insiprations r u people only

@deepika: arey 1dum blush blush ho gaya main toh, thnks a lot,will try to write more oftem@

@felicity: really were we r landing

vineet said...

@tanima: will try 2 write more often,thnks btw

@keerthu:xactly, thats wot i hv been doing in office since ages :P

@tanvi:hospital?u mean shortcut to hell...nahiiii,nywaz shifting to delhi

@tarunima:no its nt bad, its worst, even worst than the movie anjaana anjaani..is delhi the same? coz i m nw shiftin dere only

@mani lalwani: bhaiii, tahe dil se dhanyawaad, tere commnt humesha special hotey hai, will continue to write

vineet said...

@alka gurha:yaa i know n the worst is i m nw coming dere only,nywaz will continue my struggle dere too, glad u liked it

@cloud nine: well i m on cloud nine aftr reading ur commnt, thnks a lot fr following :)

@irfanuddin:haha, wat n analogy, sahi kaha mere bhai..thnks btw fr sppreicating my wrk, wil b in tch wit ur blog as well

@the other side of me: hopefully, else i will revolt n will make my own empire dere :P

@artu: it seems like other than god evry1 is listening to me..still iys hot with no relief,thnks fr the liking the post by the way

sunwicked said...

my frnd say
"if u find a place hotter and humid than chennai u have reached hell"

loved the post.w8ing for the next letter to God

Nethra said...

Not Bangalore; it rained only yesterday. The weather is awesome here. :)

Nethra said...

And it's raining cats and dogs today. I love bangalore for its weather. :)

vineet said...

u knw wot, all trains take max 4 hrs to reach chennai frm Blore, damn clouds, y dey didnt follow dem, its been 6 months with no rain here..hot damnn hot, alas!weather wud hv been a gal, life wud hv much been bettr in chennai :P..BTW hate u to the core, hoping 1 big lava rain dere :P

vineet said...

@nethra: correction 4 hrs bt surse reaim the same

@sunwicked:glad u liked it, yeaah n ur frnds r correct..

vineet said...

@sunwicked:dude,precisely,thnks u liked it, i will write the lettr again if atleast he bothers to reply me :P

@nethra:Ny train Frm blore takes max 6 hrs to reach chennai, damn why the hell clouds follw them,damn i envy u :(, weather is hot here
PS life wud hv been much bettr if weather wud have been a gal :P

... Madhumathi ... said...

Wow!! Dat was hillariousss... :P nd yesterday i was discussing abt ur funny letter to god with one of my close frend.. :) she was totally in laughs.. :)

Keep blogging
Cheers ^_^

~Madhumathi

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Hahahaha your posts are HILARIOUS!!! I laughed so much when I read this :) Hopefully God listens, 44 degrees is insane!!

ajay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sp.ajay said...

it was hilarious and i enjoyed every line you wrote.

I was brought up Orissa where temp touches 48 degrees in April, and it used to do so four years ago; but i doubt I can apply to God on the grounds of privileges Chennai has. :)

akanksha said...

Awesome!
Never been to Chennai but heard so many stories about the weather.And this one was the best ever!!!

Also, in an attempt to save Chennai, please don't ask God to disrupt Pune.I am in love with that city!But, I don't mind distribution of heat to Bangalore though.

Thousif Raza said...

loved the post first time here n will be here again :).... i hope god's mail bank is free for this letter.... because i guess he'd need a smile too ;)



take care and keep writing............

vineet said...

@madhumati: waah, thnks to u n ur friend..all my pleasure

@TMCH: i guess this mail will go into GOD's spam folder and dereaftr wil b deleted aftr1 month automatically

@sp.ajay:48 is insane too,bt i presume mild humidity z relief, keep fightinh :P

@thousif raza: bhai thnks, glas u liked it, do visit again, as this space is meant fr complete shit/crap

Lehari. said...

lolz..
"you made India win the WC and I know deep inside that when that winning six was struck, it was not Dhoni, it was you"

hilarious read !
cheerz !

trisha said...

this is too good vineet, well we the people from kolkata share your misery.

we dont know what spring is, we have almost forgotten winter. all we know is killer heat and choking monsoon.

this post is awesome! it made me smile and forget the blood boiling inside my body. :(

i hope god will hear and sack his present employees and appoint new ones.

tarunima said...

delhi is boiling!:(

TALON said...

I loved this. I had to laugh at the "buttering" part. God must have so many things to deal with, I wonder if his helpers (such as Mother Nature) are feeling overwhelmed. She seems to have left the faucets on in our part of the world and can't seem to shut them off. I can't figure out if the faucets are broken or stuck. :)

Hope you get some relief from the intense heat soon!

vineet said...

@lehari: glad u liked it

trisha: LOL at ur comment, it seems like whole India is suffering the curse.

tarunima: deyin chennai, u will evaporate by now

@talon:thnks, hope we get relief, it rained like hell yesterday so i presume plea was heard

Aparna said...

ROFL!

hOPE god takes immediate measures reading your letter

Hey don't ask god to distribute heat to Bangalore...! i live here.

Let him dissipate heat to mumbai or delhi

Eeshie said...

:D

Certified shit, indeed.

:P

Rockford said...

Quite a superb writeup.. Feeling the same @Kolkata. :)
Keep blogging and I will keep following you.

Beyond Horizon said...

Did you get your response? Probably the untimely showers was his reply... :(

Hehehe...and there was lot of buttering :P
Don't worry you won't be in hell alone, everyone is thinking the same these days ;)

A really nice post from you after long time...worthy wait :)

Vinati said...

Haha...I had a good read.
keep writing, Vivek!! =)

Take care!

vineet said...

@Vinati: thanks :)

@beyond horizon: yaa i did get, dere were sheowers fr around 2 dayz here in chennai bt later on, back to normal,dayymm itt!!

@rockford: kolkata=pseudochennai, jus feel the warmth of chennai n u gonna forget Kolkata :P

@Eeshie: truly

@aparna: my frnds @Blore mocks me abt chennai, its revenge time..its war.(though i m loosing dat war by a big margin as its raining cats and dogs there in Blore) :(

Rachit said...

hehe.. that was awesome... just add Lucknow too there.. :)

Unnati said...

Hey! I read this letter of yours in a magazine. And I feel, it's just awesome! Very creative! :D

Rachna Chhabria said...

Please Vineet, Do Not give God ideas about sending a little bit of the heat to Bangalore. Your letter is heart tugging, but mention another city. Bangalore has way too much pollution and traffic. We do not need the heat to add to our woes.

the thinking cupcake said...

we will consider your application & get back to you..
till then, please dont melt :P

regards,
the weather wing!!

Zeba said...

ahahahahaha.. *Deep breath* buhahahahaha

SHRUTHI MOHAN said...

:D :D Super cool post :D lol!! good work again :):D

Indumathy Sukanya said...

lol...awesome! :D...n hilarious!
following you!

rameez said...

I was in Chennai For last five yrs nd now finally left it. . . .I wish, u wud hv written d letter much earlier. . . .Neways apart frm weather, Chennai was nice place

Somdatta said...

Wow!! Loved your post :)

vineet said...

@ rachit : done :)

@ unnati : yeaah i knw, this was published in young bhaskar, magazine for children :P...stil i will consider this as an achievement.

@rachna: awww, ok baba, i take my words back..nywaz i n god dont hv proper understanding, so dont wry @ all

@the thinking cupcake: awesome reply mate...incredible indeed.

@Zeba: i will take it as an compliment.

@shruti Mohan:thanks yaar, glad u liked it

@indumathy: i m horored :)

@rameez: even i left chennai bt still i miss it teribly, chennai is rocking fr sure

@somdatta: as i said before, its a matter of great honor pleasure :)

Ayushi B said...

A friend of mine recently got posted in here. I might just have to pass this link to her :)
Nice post :)

Maryam A. said...

OMG WOOOOOOWWW.

Maryam A. said...

OMG WOOOOOOWWW.

Live2cherish said...

Loved the read.
Following you, hope to read more from you.