Booze party @ NITW

To begin with, I am not an alcoholic, but I have always been a integral part of all booze parties.
Reason:its total fun.

20th Feb 2009,
Final Year
14th block terrace,
around 9:30 pm

Everyone assembled at the terrace,super-excited,enthusiastic,with lots of targets whirling inside their mind. Sparkling eyes tells the rest of the story.Believe me guys, the only place where I have seen the same energy levels amongst guys was Common Hall, Block 13 in our college where everyone use to assemble together to watch sleazy flicks at midnight during 1st year.

As usual, the party started with few "meant to be broken promises" like

1. Today, I wont drink more than 2 pegs.(LOL)

2. Today, gonna be the last day of my alcoholism.(ULTRALOL)

3. Today, no drama afterwards.(ROTFLOL)

So things started to move, Being a non-drinker,I was assaying the whole crowd. Almost everyone had 1 glass half filled with RCs, Fosters etc etc.Bartender Kammo/Ron was serving others with full dexterity taking the occasional sips in between.

After sometime
Me: Oye Katte(real name AMIT), you said you won't drink more than 2 pegs and now you are gulping down the whole bottle of RC.
(
About Amit, well, he only drinks in two occasions:
1. when he is thirsty.
2. when he is not.
)
Katta (with a legendary PJ): yaar, I promised to have 2 pegs but did I mention anything about bottles....
I pleaded for Apology.

1st hour was smooth, it was only after an hour when things geared up. When the ones who take more time to reach THE HIGH starts targeting those who reach it in a very short span of time.

Rathi: Dev sir, aap batao! aapse woh ladki pati kyun nahin jisper aap bohut senti they?
Dev(somewhat @ HIGH): leave man, dont ask, today we are having a gala time. I don't want to spoil everyone's mood.

Rathi didn't asked again.
.
.
After another 5 min
.
.
Dev:You want to know na why things didn't worked out between me n PIRYA(name "almost changed" on Dev's request)...
and then he gazed towards Rathi..he was busy somewhere , least bothered about what Dev is babbling....

Dev contd: Since you are insisting, I will tell u.
It was only after 20 min when Rathi realized the gravity of his mistake.
As expected, Dev was never ending, giving every minute details, some original, some fake. Felt like watching kahani ghar ghar ki without any breaks in between.

Dev( with sudden adrenaline rush): Why this happened to me, Why Why Why,Where I was wrong.Where,Where Where,How come I was back stabbed,( I anticipated another HOW,HOW, HOW in my mind,though it didn't happen)Damn, I lost her.
The pinnacle of emotional drama followed.

"I wil never get her. I still love her.I cant forget her" and then

uuuuuaaaaa uuuuuuuaaaaaa uuuuuaaaaa

(Dev gonna kill me for this)

He was hemmed in by everyone. All started to give those Socrates kinda superhuman suggestions.Worst, some even started to narrate their experiences.

WTH

In between, me and Kammo,standing near the edge of the terrace were laughing like anything
Me : wat an asshole
Kammo: Whatever, this guy made my day.

Then commenced another melodrama
Katta this time
He came to me and said:I want to talk to you, its very personal and I want just you and me. Is it possible for you.

Guys, thats what Katta told me in ENGLISH..I never understand that why people tend to speak English after they are drunk.

Katta: Vineet, mein teri waali ko line nahin maarta.mujhe pata hai tere ko yehi lagta hai per plzz yaar really bata raha hoon,ekdum sach sach(AND IN HINDI ALSO),mein kabhi bhi uske peeche nahi bhaagta,maa kasam.
Now,this he wanted to say to me in private and trust me while telling, he was so loud(3D dolby-digital with cinema surround sound) that few more from the 2nd floor came listening.

And then came Ravi Goyal
fully drunk, legs shaking, hands trembling
Ravi: Bhai, tu mujhe apna bhai nahin maanta,
Before I start questioning/explaining

Ravi: But I consider you as my brother,(ohhhh,again damn to English) beaaccccaauuuuse( it took him 3-4 seconds to spell it) its u only with whom i can share my Dil-ki-baat.Can I tell you bhai?

His 15-20 minutes DIL-KI-BAAT was a real pain in the ass.Though, I must confess that when he concluded, I felt good .
Its because eventually he said: bhai, I am telling this just to u only because you are very close to me and I really feel you understand me(!@#$). I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?
Me: no way, dude
Ravi: I love u bhai
me : yuckkkk

I have heard that after being drunk, people do blurt out truth . I was happy coz someone considered me that way.
15 min later
I saw Ravi with Satpal
and see what Ravi was telling
Ravi: bhai, I am telling this just to you only because you are very close to me and I feel you can really understand that. I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?

Me to Satpal: he told the same story just now to me also.
Satpal: he has been telling me the same story for last 3 booze parties, I have memorized it by now. By any chance, if he forget any part while telling, I remind him also.

Hence, 1 more myth was cleared..drinkers are liars too.

Story isn't over yet( Ohhh Shit)
After every single drop of liquor got over, left to do nothing,everyone started teasing Motu(ankit)
Everyone: u don't have the balls to talk to that girl motey, u suck, u don't have bones.
MOTU: bring the phone, u suckers, just bring the phone, I will call her right now,u see, don't you guys ever dare to challenge me.
Some son of a bitch took motu's phone only n dialed the no.(loudspeaker mode)

Ring Ring
thathak(some1 picked up the call)
Motu: Hellllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooo (as loud as possible,)
Gal:whoz dis(with full American ascent)
Motu:Saali, tu mere se pat ti kyun nahin.Bata saali,bata. Saali mere mein problem hee kya hai.Kya kami hai mere mein jo tu mere ko dekh kar muh fer leti hai.

The gal started listing all his shortcomings .

Motu(after some 2 min,with full force): Chup saali, Bohut bolti hai
and then SHE(& not HE) hung up the phone.
Guys, this was real fun. Won't forget ever.
However, after this bacchanalia got over,the real hassle started for the non-drinkers like me. Many have puked,many were lying here n there. Me, Sourab, Balai etc have to make sure that everyone reach their respective rooms comfortably.
However, while we were carrying the wobbling Katta, he suddenly lost his temper.
Katta:Ron, I am not drunk, I am fully conscious and I can reach to my room on my own. I don't need anyone's assistance.
Guy: hmmm, I know, by the way I am not Ron, I am Vineet.
AND finally when I was coming down the stairs, this is what I heard,
Ravi was telling to Sourab:bhai, I telling this just to u only because you are very close to me and I feel you can really understand that. I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?

I love that guy.

PS1: sorry for writing such a long post.
Ps2; those who blurt out their secrets when drunk are not the REAL drinkers.
PS3: happy friendship day guys

2nd year..in CED(Civil Engineering Department)

Every morning in Africa, a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest deer or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter if you are a lion or a deer. When the sun comes up, you better start running.

Guys,welcome to civil engineering department. Daily classes from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. kept us running only.Every morning, I wake up cursing the ever punctual sun and then my room-mates Pankaj and Arpit.In final year,the TnP(training and placement)in-charge took that honor.Even then,no matter when I wake up,I always reach late.Sometimes searching for the room keys,notebook(and not notebookS),socks and trust me sometimes I do wear different color combination of socks in utter frustration.

CED was damn hap.An exquisite mix of students of all states.Seeing different languages varying from hindi,telugu,bengali to marathi,tamil and manipuri and diverse living style of everyone in a single room was altogether a complete different experience.Perhaps,this was the best thing that I liked being an NITian.You can see the cultures flowing in and out there.In just a month or so,the feeling of being a bihari or telugu or mallu, bengali etc. was dissolved.No matter of all the differences we had,there were few things that were common in all of us.
1. we all curse mess food
2. we all hate to wake up early
3. we all(almost) were prompt to bunk classes.

The reason why i wrote "almost" was because of the guys like Ajay(fondly called saanpu coz of his eccentric body structure) who was always into classes like a dog is always into bones.Bunking for him was a sin, a ticket to hell.The almost topper of our department had all the "nakhdas" of being the superior.Just like a superhit actress in bollywood.This guy believed in just one theory of his"A friend in need is not a friend of his".

Classes technically were boring.I remember the Building drawing classes and trust me,I really suck big time in visualizing the 3D image of anything.Cmon,drawing triangular mountains and a circular sun on a chart paper took 20 years of mine,how come the perfection in 3D view come in just one semester.Classes on structures added the last nail in the coffin.Stress-strain curves added stress on my mind and strain in my fingers.Still,whatever be the situation,how boring be the classes,there was fun all around.
All I can say"the road to success is always under construction"
GET IT DONE-CIVIL ENGINEERS

P.S: regardin ajay...this guy had a sea change in his attitude in next coupe of years.More of like a Down to Earth guy( still above many of us) who was always ready to help.

Golden Night

Perhaps my last post on ragging...aahhhh...being ragged.

10 p.m.
Friday Night.
Near cafeteria.
Golden night is the night when you are ragged for the last time...all you can expect in this dead silence of night is ruthlessness at its Everest peak.
We were 10 minutes late to our final destination i.e. the ragging spot.

Scene 1
Senior: Give me a valid reason why you are late.
Pankaj(refreshing his concepts of relativity):Sir, when we were coming, the wind was blowing in the opposite direction as a result of which our relative velocity reduced and we reached late.
Dev(heights of civil Engineering):Sir, due to excessive heat, the tar and charcoal on the road expanded as a result of which the distance between our hostel and this place increased.Hence, we got late.
Gosh!! some one rightly said:Two most common elements in universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
In latter we did our B.Tech.
Sr.then turned towards me and said: So vineet!what's your stand on this?
me: Sir,to err is human.
Sr.(with an affectionate smile): To forgive is not my policy dear.
Me(thinking):PJ..what a crap!
Flabbergasted we were, when he didn't do anything fishy at that moment of time.

Scene 2
We all, the so called 1st years(zero according to them), were sitting in a semi-circular pattern with an incharge-in-chief Sr. at the centre. Rest all seniors encircling us. Our condition was like mice caged in a snake-house prompt to be ingurgitated at any moment of time.

Sr. who was sitting at the centre was half drunk(take it in a +ve way,he was still half empty).Placed in Accenture this guy started narrating a story...
There was a lion who went to a jungle alone.
(suddenly with full swing of hand, he slapped Arpit)
dhaaaaddddd.
Story continued
He saw a cat there and asked "are you single"
dhaaaadddd..this time Himanshu was the victim.
Cat replied"No, I am happily married and have two kids" chotu and munni"
dhaaaaadddd...me got lucky.

The blessed story of his( and the tragic story of ours) went for around 15 minutes with eventually a cow being sent to Mars at the climax.I don't remember what happened in between except all those 50 slaps that were rained all over us in that quick succession.All I can say..HIGH PERFORMANCE......DELIVERED". Awesome publicity of his company.

Afterward there were lot of surprise games enwrapped for us to suffer and them to relish. Numerous free gifts(why they call it free gifts,Aren't all gifts free) were veiled as well.

1. Anchor 1 Minute: In 1 minute, I have to slap the neighbor mate as many times as possible and vice versa.The looser (who slapped less no. of times ) later on, was slammed by equal number of times by the margin he lost..by the seniors. Everytime,it was me who lost....
Interesting one naa, try this at home with your siblings.

Indian Idol:No qualification required.We all, one by one, performed on the dais, the so called patriotic song of our college."yeh NIT ki basti hai'
Can't write the second line else you all will report my blog abuse.


Bournvita Quiz Contest:Play with the girl next door.The seniors asked every minute detail of almost all other girls of our college.Can't go in details, though you can imagine what they asked. Wrong, incomplete, non-attempted answers lead to our asses being hanged till death.

The excruciation carried on and on for around 2a.m. Finally, they made us to stand in a line and ask us to close our eyes.We expected another round of nukes being dropped on to us but this time..well,it was finally over.They handed us the very awaited FRESHER'S invitation.

They all hugged us subsequetly,shook hands,wished all the best and all sorts of "Hum saath saath hai " drama supervened. Himanshu kissed the card in air as if Bill Gates has written all his property in that card. In jubilation, some of us even cried.Some like me faked to cry.Dev,as usual, overacting..."Sir,we didn't expected this today".Though everyone of us was damn sure about this invitation stuff.

Next day, the only thing I remember was, I purchased a tube of Boro Plus to apply it on my tormented cheeks.Even I joined a community in orkut "I love Boro Plus".

What next in my blogpost,I don't know.

Embarrassing exams

Our end-semester exams were scheduled to start from Monday,21st November, 2005.

7:30p.m, 20th Oct.2005(1 month before the exam), in my room:

Me charged up like a inflated Hydrogen balloon.
"From 8 p.m. tonight I will surely kick start my preparation so as to come up with flying colors in upcoming examination and can even opt for branch upgradation."

After 1 month,
20th Nov.2005, i.e. 1 day before exam,7:30 p.m. in my room:

Me like a punctured tyre with no desire to be put to re-use..
"From 8 p.m. tonight I have to kick start my preparation else buckle up for the supplementary examination."

Still half an hour left to eight, I popped out to have a glance at others . Chaos all around, as if year 2012 is knocking at the door. I went to Pankaj’s room( the only thing this guy has learned in his entire 4 years of Computer Sc. Engrr. is Ctrl C + Ctrl V, Save As and Shut Down) for some sort of sympathy.Astonishingly, he too was diving in the quagmire of studies. I panicked.Wow!Sachin Tendulkar studying Quantum physics.

Came back. Turned my notes. On the 1st page of the notebook was a scenery comprising of hills,huts and a sun caricature by me on the 1st day,1st class of my new college life. 2nd page had a train drawn over it.3rd to 10 pages contained scorecards of Raja,Mantri,Chor, Sipahi we use to play during classes. Thereafter came some meaningful notes. In between, again there were lots of blank pages over which it was written in font size 28 ”CLASS BUNKED”
Screwed up.

Night at 12 o’clock.
I started yet again.The problem with bulk of engineering students is that if they are been given 2 hours to study,they will spend 1 hour in counting pages.Being a proud engineer I did that again and again as if the no. of pages gonna slenderize after every enumeration.After reading 5-6 pages, my eyes started becoming dizzy.Inert mind started smothering.Other body parts marched hand in hand with the brain. I started telling myself…

Don't give it up dear. You can do it.
Don't give...up.You...do it....
Don't ...up...do.. it.
Don't...do...it
zzzzzzz.....
I slept off.

Morning 7o’clock.
knock knock
Someone shouting on the door: Vineet, give me the notes.
In only 2 cases, someone asks notes from me.
1.I am dreaming.
2.It’s his notes.
This time it was clause no.2. The guy gave his notes provided it is returned by next morning.Within few seconds, I regained my senses only to discover that I am loosing it.He took his notes away with him along with my aspirations to pass.Still,I encouraged myself by thinking that 7 out of 10 suffer from Maths illiteracy.I love to be in majority.

Exams for me are like Black lady's left ass,it's not right and it's not fair.

15 minutes before only, I entered the dreadful realm of downright depression,Room no. 602.
Many already arrived.Girls came with full make-ups.Black pen, blue pen,violet and red sketch pens all around.Only water colors were missing.The Complan boy(expected topper) even brought lemon and orange juices with him.Together they all were discussing something which was like Da-Vinci Code for me.
Altogether I concluded,there are only 2 things that can save me.
1.Good seating arrangement.
2.Good cheating arrangement.

I didn't get any.
Paper started.I was beseated in the last bench of the middle row.Out of 7 question we have to answer any 5.I knew 2.Solved it in next 1 hour..2 hours still remaining.I was kind of bored.Every second was taking more than a second to pass.Felt like I am watching DRONA movie.I looked above at the PSPO ceiling fan and started counting the no. of rotations per minute.Enough of it, I started contemplating the crowd around me.

Complan boy was writing at an immortal speed as if he is writing for me also.Girls as usual, using all their red,blue, green pens as if they are answering,checking and even awarding marks for all the questions they faked to attempt.The invigilator was showing keen interest in inspecting almost each and every student.Gosh! if he has shown the same interest while teaching us, the magnets of knowledge and curiosity would have activated way before in me(I need to blame someone)Some skilled ones were searching for the right slips in their 6 pocket jeans(purchased for this special occasion).

I too rose according to the demands .I sneaked to catch a flash view of front seated guy's answer sheet.No success coz he concealed his sheet like a CIA secret agent.Meanwhile,the invigilator saw me and said
"I hope I didn't see you looking at Ajay's paper.
"I hope you didn't either" I almost replied.
Another hour fled.
I regained momentum in last half an hour when few godly guys came up for my rescue.Teamwork which is less "me" and more "we" really works.I ended up attempting all the question(5).
Eventually, I must confess that my paper was not as pathetic as I imagined.It was bad for sure still not that awful.

Pizza HUnT

Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria

The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this

catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)

UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW

Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….

(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )

Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin

“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER”

Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)

Courageous enough, he started again.

“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”

He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.

Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.

And then as expected.

25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.

Now, its our turn..

One of our 3^rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1^st years only who faked to be second years )

Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.

Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]

That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.

And then

Dhaaaaaddddd

Dev in sheer silence now.

So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.

Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.

Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)

Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?

Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.

Then my turn came

Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine

We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.

9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.

After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.

Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.

In between, came up my second year senior and said

”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”

Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.

Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.

Ohh… I loved that guy.

Suddenly

Dhaaaaaaddddddd

“THEN BEAR IT”…

I hate him!!

Osama bin laden in disguise.

Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.

But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.

Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.

More of ragging stuff in the next post.

SLAPoginity lost..

This post is dedicated to those who still have the courage and forbearance to go through this one.

Continuing from the last post

At 11p.m. 7^th Block terrace

Guys, going to seniors at that instant of time felt like jumping off the wrong side of volcanic Mt. Fuji. I was quite aware of the package God has enwrapped for me that night.

So, at the 7th block terrace, 5 seniors beleaguering me.

One of the senior: So Vineet, Whose mistake it was..we seniors or Mousumi? (refer last post)

Vineet( that’s me, the multitasker, who screws everything at the same time):Sir, you (pinpointing the fellows culminated to atrocious aftermath)

Senior(grinning): What’s your present score (= how many slaps you have enjoyed from day1 of ragging)?

Me: zero

Stunned, bedazed , they gave that “How you saved your ass” look. Believe me, Their verbalism was just like that of the FBIs who have the convict of Michael Jackson murder in their custody but not prosecuted yet.

Then,

1 of the senior: Vineet, Look Up.

I did

Senior: look down

I did

Senior: look right

I did

Senior: look left

I did

Senior: look front

Dhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddd

I almost did

My face turned 45 degrees in the x-y plane towards my right.

Dhaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddd( yet again, this time someone from the right)

My face back to origin looking front.

Guys, me got bedazzled. I sobbed. Tears trickled down my aghast eyes through my intumesced cheeks dribbling on the ground. I wasn’t wailing like mummy, mummy sort of but rather I whimpered with spasmodic breaths in between. Perhaps, air was trying to enter my lungs but failed. And about THRASHing them with my punch, SLAMMing their heads against the door, leaving them lifelong CRIPPLE and BATTERing their chins down, well, all gone with the wind. Hence, this way guys, I lost my SLAPoginity

Trust me, I was so perplexed that I really felt that God has given me the Middle Finger because of these people only .However, One thing was sure. No matter what they say and how many times they change their opinion, the fact remains the same…THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

And about the Lesson learned, well that is something in a rather serious note: Life is not an I-POD..listening your favorite songs..it’s a RADIO you must tune yourself to enjoy.. whatever comes in it.

PIZZA tragedy in the next post.

Saga continues...

Guys..just tell me, how it feels when you are all set to watch DDLJ and finally end up watching Hello Brother(STATUARY WARNING: never ever go for this movie..I became an Atheist after watching that hunkajunk).This is what happened when I had my first faint transient glimspse of the college.

In a week time I got settled a bit.In that 1 week, what was the scenario...let me give you a brief elucidation.

MESS

Mine was Narmada mess(Vth).Truly incredible.It was damn huge(100 can have their supper at a time with 100 waiting outside).It was elegantly constructed(Clear water dripping from the terrace on our chequered colour table) and was fully Air-Conditioned(out of 6 fans only 3 worked).

Food quality was mind-blowing(2cm thick oil layer over the cereals and chapatis uncooked at the edges(well, it had edges) embellished with brown wafers at the centre, vegetable curry was always an unsolved mystery). No discrimination whatsoever on any basis was followed(dogs and crows had the permanent membership at our mess, few dogs even stopped coming).

Thanking you god for proffering me this wonderful oppurtunity to be blessed with a Harry Potter movie kinda mess where I had "everything I want"(actually,"anything I can").I extend my heartfelt thanks to our mess committee for equipping me with steel intestines that can digest even 10 betel nuts at a time.

Classes

Classes were horrible.Each class of 1 hour duration seems to be as long as powercut in Bihar. I remember there was 1 teacher who use to give lecture on environmental science.Almost 80% of the time(sometimes even 120%) he use to brag about himself that he has been to this place, that university, X project, Y research.blah blah...everyday.Cmon, who gives a damn whether he has been doing a research project in Oklahoma university in Japan or doing a project on Selassianna tribes of Jamaica.Eventually, I thought of giving him "SHUT UP AND TEACH" award. Guys..truly speaking...as far as I am concerned attending classes were just like forcing carbon to form pentavalent bonds.Strictly no no.

Thats all as per now.Ragging incidents in the next post.