" Loneliness is a logical consequence of individualism"
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Thursday, January 3, 2013
dhool chehre par thi aur aaina saaf karta raha..! #society
Friday, September 28, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
(How the meaning of MBA changes with time)
2days before joining college
MBA: Main Banunga Ambani
1 month after you join
MBA: Masti with Babes and Alcohol
After 6 months i.e. present scenario (just after the end semesters)
MBA: Main Bekaar Aadmi
FYI: This post is about my experience of last end-semester examination here.
2 days before exam, when you ask in private Facebook page of your section about the portion of the exam, this is what you get
1 day before when someone asks a doubt
IF A HOT GIRL IS SITTING AROUND
IF SHE IS WEARING MINIs
WHILE ANSWERING MULTIPLE ANSWER QUESTIONS, SAY YOU HAVE TICKED OPTION “C” AND YOU GET A CHANCE TO PEEK A VIEW OF THE FRONT BENCHER
DURING A THEORY (SUBJECTIVE) PAPER, WHAT FACTORS YOU CONSIDER WHILE ANSWERING
BEFORE EXAM WHAT YOU PLANNED TO DO AFTER EXAM
WHAT YOU REALLY DO
ABOUT YOUR QUITTING CIGARETTE RESOLUTION AFTER EXAMS
Those rare occasions, when you prepared hard for an exam AND just before the exam you are expecting that you gonna rock back this paper
This is actually what happens
In a nutshell, my story says that what you prepare for a paper is completely different from what you write in the paper and finally, what results come are even more variant. As far as I am concerned, exam does the same thing to me what Kalmadi, Raja and Kanimozhi has done to this country.
PS: yaa, you are right, I am on high
Saturday, November 26, 2011
We use to have "unit" tests every 2 months of 1 hour each worth 25 marks per subject during our school days . The test was conducted at our class rooms only and on that particular day, I was sitting with my topper, who was just a hi-bye-go die kinda friend of mine.
Maths it was. Exam started,paper was kinda easy and within 40 minutes I solved everything. Thereafter, I saw my topper,he had also completed everything except the last Qs which he was in the process to solve. 5 minutes later, I saw him again, still trying his level best to unriddle the same. I gestured that I can help but he denied. 5 minutes later, I observed him again and this time, he was sweating like hell. The quagmire of last question was slowly killing him like a colchicine mixed with apple juice. The click of every second passing by was like the sound of his coffin being nailed 6 feet under the ground.
I have always felt that for toppers, marks are binary, its either full(=1) or, if not full, its equivalent to zero.
He, still, unable to solve, deep inside knew that he can't solve it anymore, adding to his misery, was the fact that a dumb witted moron(that's me) has solved it.
3 min left and ahoy! this boy finally gave up and "literally" pleaded "vineet, please show me how u did it"
I smiled(= I won): I sneaked the test copy towards him and within next 2 minutes, he copied everything.
Paper got over.We submitted the answer copy after which i expected at least a heartfelt thanks or even a comforting smile but all this guy managed was a cold stern glare.
WHO CARES, I was glad with my performance and didn't bother much about that.
1 week later,test answer copy was distributed and i got 23 out of 25. My topper got 25/25 and gosh, so happy he was.
I was happy with my 23, a guy who has been sitting for whole of his life in the 3rd last bench sleeping( and sometimes even murmuring in the sleep), for him, anything beyond 18 is a bonus.
I was chit chatting with a group of 7-8 friends along with the "topper" in that circle when someone asked me " hey Vineet, how much you got in Maths yaar"
I (with a proud smile and virtually patting my back): dude, 23
AND THEN CAME THE REPLY WHICH I AM NEVER GONNA FORGET TILL THE LAST STAR FALLS
he said " haan saale, topper ke saath baitha tha naa"
I was like WHATTTTTTTTTTT
It felt like someone has given me a head-shot with a sniper from a small range.
I looked at my topper and holyshit!!can u believe it, he was looking at the floor,smiling sheepishly with a " ohh come on, no big deal for me" look.
I, mum, was glaring at him,eyes wide opened, waiting desperately for him to clarify but then his ego never let him do the same. That son of a bitch never told anyone that his fucking 25 was because of a 3rd last row guy.
PS: I almost gave up cheating after that.
PPS: but then i needed my 23, and as i grew old, that 23 even out of 50 seemed like skydiving without ropes.
PPPS: these days, Back on track.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Case Study: I and My Sister
Title: 36 ka aankra
Case topic: The pros and cons of having a younger sister.
· My sister: an overview
· Issues we have
· My sister’s skillset
· Biased role of parents
· Citing Incidents for proof (I)
· The other side
· Citing incidents for proof (II)
My sister is 5 years younger to me. Being the youngest member, she is the one who make rules, break rules and amend the same as per her requirement. Her sweet, cute, adorable face and fake tears are the best ominous weapon she possesses with perfect skill to use the same with precise alacrity.
Issues we have:
To be frank, other than sharing the same set of parents, we hardly share anything else or have anything in common.If I and my sister are talking, it barely takes 10 min for turmoil to start. Thanks to our Brobdingnagian creativity that we always come up with new topic to fight. Trust me, even in selecting a topic to fight, we can have a fight. Now, I am gonna throw some light on the topics we have quarrelled:
· Who will sit in the front seat of the car?
· Who will take the window seat in the train?
· Who will take the new double-rack Mickey Mouse pencil box to school which I (note this) have seen first and purchased from the market?
· Why it’s always butter scotch flavour and not chocolate flavour ice cream that is brought in at home?
· She loves brinjal curry and I love lady’s finger. No point in guessing what is cooked more regularly.
· Why Pokémon on TV (and these days, Inuyasha (some Japanese shit which my timid brain failed to comprehend) and not Live cricket?
· Last point repeated…WHYYYYYYYYYY?
Sometimes, I just feel we have more number of issues than probably, India and Pakistan have.
My sister's Skill set:
“Good lord, save the world”
Blackmailing skills: If ever, there were a noble prize in blackmailing; my sister would have been winning it for last 20 years undisputedly. She has such a photographic memory that whenever she wants something from me which I am not accepting, she will just open the account book of my life, would pick up one unfavourable ghastly mistake that I did before (say even a decade back)and the next moment, she will pretend to stomp towards Dad mumbling that today she gonna reveal everything. Next scene: Her foot, my faceL
Remember, I got one New Year greeting card from one girl (who was not even my girlfriend) which my sis, somehow, discovered. The next thing I remember is for the next 2-3 weeks she made me do all her maths and science homework and along with that she compelled me to watch all those stupid animes with her. Condition applied: she won’t tell it to mom.
Acting Skills: I bet 20 on 10. Whenever she is losing any argument (very rare event indeed, you have better chances of seeing Haley’s comet than to see my sister loosing), she will gradually drag the venue of fight near to the place where my mom is sitting and henceforth either of the two under-mentioned casemay ensue
1. Suddenly, within a minute, she may start crying with REAL tears.
2. She somehow brings me inside the hullaballoo as a result of which the whole focus is shifted to me.
In either case, it’s Game Over for me. My mom will lambast me thereafter while my sister in the back ground continues winking at me.
One incident I would like to quote
Once, I complained my mom that Sis always compels me to do her homework. My mom thereafter started berating her. After couple of minutes,
My sis (with teary-weary eyes): you always scold me for minute things but never to bhaiya no matter what he does.
Mom: what did bhaiya do?
Sis: I don’t know, ask him only to whom he was talking to last night at 2, you won’t censure him for this but if I ask him to do my homework once in a blue moon(make it 5 days a week), I will be criticized like I am the one responsible for 9-11…..
Within a fraction of second, the focal point shifts and ultimately, I am the one over which the sinister flash light is now aimed. Needless to mention, next half an hour gets wasted in convincing, pleading and begging my mom that nothing like this happened.
Biased role of parents: it’s an unwritten law. Parents always take the side of the youngest; here I will cite some of the incidents that will stamp the afore-mentioned belief. · Whenever I am returning from college, I use to call my dad and ask “are you coming to station to pick me up?” Dad simply replies” why?? can’t you come alone, you are grown up now, manage yourself L, when my sister is returning from her college, she use to call dad and ORDERS “Dad, don’t you dare bring a Non-AC car to pick me up” and dad just replies “ sure beta sure”
· When I asked my dad for a laptop, I almost gave a power point presentation on the topic “why I need a lappy” giving instances of the usage of Wikipedia, e-books, software etc. In case of my sis, she just said that she can’t ask for her roommate’s laptop (in college) again and again whenever she wants to watch a movie. Within 3 days, she had one as compared to 1.5 months in my case.
· I got “4 in 1” video game cassette (remember those days??) that had games like “Aladdin” and “Jungle Book” in it after I scored 98 in maths in 10th board exams. My sister got a Sony Hi-Fi after she got 90 in the same.
· Whenever we are having an argument, my dad will support my sister, henceforth, she eventually wins. Trust me, I have lost even a debate “who is more important, School Principal or Prime Minister” even though I supported Prime Minister.
THE OTHER SIDE: the beautiful side. I guess I have to accept the fact that it was complete fun growing up with her.She is sweet, adorable and everyone in my family loves her. She knows she enjoys some extra privilege and some extra freedom from my parents but deep inside I knowif I would have been in the place of my parents, I would have done the same. She is so cute that you just can’t see her sad and will do anything that could bring a smile on her face. She lightens everyone’s mood no matter what we are going through. Her foolish mistakes, stupid talks and lamest excuses can make you burst in laughter.
And most importantly, she is a wonderful sis. Following are few set of incidents that I will cite once again (To readers, please hold your patience; it’s almost the last paragraph).
· Many times, she signed my report card, thanks to her incredible talent of replicating my dad’s signature.
· She would happily and elegantly draw all the diagrams in my bio practical notebook without any fuss.
· She helped me memorize all the answers of history, civics, geography (and even maths and science) during board exams.
· She made tea for me million times at mid night whenever I ask for.
· Loved the way she convinced dad that why I should have a laptop, repeated the same when I needed a Digicam.
· Whenever sweets are distributed in her school, she will bring few for me for sure.
I guess if I continue penning down every incident, I may end up writing till eternity. All I can say, loosing against her every single time was something that enthralled me. I feel amazed the way she acclimatizes to new place and then never complaining about the changes. I loved the way her small eyes twinkle when she gets what she is looking for. I feel honoured the way she started to understand her responsibilities much before I did.
In a nutshell,tedhi hai magar meri hai!Happy Rakhi sis and we still have got lot many memories to build and cherish.
PS: sis, the fight is still on
PPS: almost left blogging these daysL, paucity of time is to be blamed
Monday, May 9, 2011
Head of Department
Weather Wing, Chennai zone
Lord of all wings
Time: 12:30 pm IST
Subject: Chennai Weather
I know you must be completely occupied with your December, 2012 plans but meanwhile, with due regards, I would sheepishly like to draw your attention towards the dismal weather scenario in Chennai. Its 2nd week of May and temperature is already soaring up to 44C. Sometimes, it feels that Equator’s epicenter is this place only and we are inside some kind of an unregulated oven. Humidity, BEWARE. Freaking 80%. It takes 20 minutes for the weather here to expose the brand of my baniyan (vests) I am wearing inside. Not only this, I have been sweating so badly that in the last few days I have tasted every salt my body has produced through the sweat and trust me it’s not NaCl(common salt), it taste way weird. About body odour, dude worst!!!! Guess what, if odour were visible, as color is, I'd see the summer garden in rainbow clouds.
God, as per my class 2nd Gulmohar books, there are 4 seasons. (World Meteorological Department later confirmed me as well) But it seems like you have completely forgotten about winter. About spring, don’t you even ask. People have even stopped expecting it here. Probably, the next generations of Chennai won’t even have the description of spring in their school-curriculum. Not fair god. It’s just summer and dreadful eternal summer here. And YOU MR. SIDNEY SHELDON, Nothing Last Forever, HUH, my foot. God, I am not accusing you but literally I feel that the sub ordinates to whom you have given the in charge of Chennai zone are perhaps busy listening to Radio Mirchi 98.3 FM, “its hot” without realizing the fact that Chennai is turning way hotter.
Trust me god, the constant sweating while watching cricket matches (IPL season 4 these days) is exceptionally irritating. You just imagine how you will feel when this same sweating annoys you while you are watching the classy dance of Urvashi and other apsaras.
Dear god, I don’t want to hurt your sentiments. In fact, I am a big follower of yours. I appreciate the way you designed the whole Darwinian thing to take place cell by call, gene by gene, one by one. You also made dinosaurs to extinct which I personally feel that you did the right thing. Do same with the cockroaches. Least to mention, you made India win the WC and I know deep inside that when that winning six was struck, it was not Dhoni, it was you.(okk fine, enough of buttering).
But god, please please pleases, for god’s sake, take Chennai seriously. After all, it’s a metropolitan (according to article 738:1939). Till today, DOORDARSHAN includes Chennai while telling the chaar mahanagron ka taapmaan during National NEWS, then why don’t you include it in your priority list. God please don’t concentrate all the UVs of India over us only. Distribute to Bangalore and Pune as well.
Awaiting immediate response
Truly yours (except in May)
PS: That’s it, confirmed, I will go to hell. L