Sunday, August 30, 2009

SLAPoginity lost..

This post is dedicated to those who still have the courage and forbearance to go through this one.

Continuing from the last post

At 11p.m. 7th Block terrace

Guys, going to seniors at that instant of time felt like jumping off the wrong side of volcanic Mt. Fuji. I was quite aware of the package God has enwrapped for me that night.

So, at the 7th block terrace, 5 seniors beleaguering me.

One of the senior: So Vineet, Whose mistake it was..we seniors or Mousumi? (refer last post)

Vineet( that’s me, the multitasker, who screws everything at the same time):Sir, you (pinpointing the fellows culminated to atrocious aftermath)

Senior(grinning): What’s your present score (= how many slaps you have enjoyed from day1 of ragging)?

Me: zero

Stunned, bedazed , they gave that “How you saved your ass” look. Believe me, Their verbalism was just like that of the FBIs who have the convict of Michael Jackson murder in their custody but not prosecuted yet.


1 of the senior: Vineet, Look Up.

I did

Senior: look down

I did

Senior: look right

I did

Senior: look left

I did

Senior: look front


I almost did

My face turned 45 degrees in the x-y plane towards my right.

Dhaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddd( yet again, this time someone from the right)

My face back to origin looking front.

Guys, me got bedazzled. I sobbed. Tears trickled down my aghast eyes through my intumesced cheeks dribbling on the ground. I wasn’t wailing like mummy, mummy sort of but rather I whimpered with spasmodic breaths in between. Perhaps, air was trying to enter my lungs but failed. And about THRASHing them with my punch, SLAMMing their heads against the door, leaving them lifelong CRIPPLE and BATTERing their chins down, well, all gone with the wind. Hence, this way guys, I lost my SLAPoginity

Trust me, I was so perplexed that I really felt that God has given me the Middle Finger because of these people only .However, One thing was sure. No matter what they say and how many times they change their opinion, the fact remains the same…THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

And about the Lesson learned, well that is something in a rather serious note: Life is not an I-POD..listening your favorite’s a RADIO you must tune yourself to enjoy.. whatever comes in it.

PIZZA tragedy in the next post.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ragging..its all about barbarism,trauma.......FUN

Ragging was perhaps the most convivial episode of my entire engineering era of 4 years.From my frame of reference, it's only those without a spine, Crumble against ragging and besides if you can't stand up to a bunch of guys elder to you, then forget the world.

This is the story of how I crumbled.

In our college, there were all together 100 golden rules needed to be followed during the ragging period(R.P.)

1. Wear formals with nothing in the shirt pocket.
2. Usage of shortforms were not allowed.
3. Bakery, Internet centres, Juice point etc.(except Library which did'nt make any difference) were all outlawed.
4.Every minute details of the fellow juniors has to be nailed down in the mind.
5.Wish the seniors every time you see them.
6.NEVER wish them at admin and departments.(Gosh, I wont forget this 1 ever)

Rule 7 to rule 100 were formulated and crushed while molesting us at the spot only(like at the cafetaria, shrinu point, 7th block terrace etc. etc.).

Meena Misfortune
2 weeks after I joined..
Around 9 p.m. in the night,I saw Rajesh Kumar Meena (kicking butt since 1985, this guy has got more hair on his chest than the Sloth bears of south-east asia) returning dejected, eyes red with his palm over his bloated cheeks.I asked, what happened and he went straight into his room unresponsed.

Next Morning.
Me: what happened last night?
Meena(with a glaring gaze): picnic in missed it.
Me: okay fine.Tell me
Meena: Buddy, I was called abruptly by 1 of our seniors while I went to draw out money from the ATM. He asked me to close my eyes.I did.I just thought that these morons will clap in front of my face aspiring to scare me and I will act accordingly pretending that I was terror-striken.

And Then..
(lights, camera, action)


(Cut,lights off,packup)

Meena: (almost sobbing)man, It took time for me to regain senses.Yaar, it really hurts when you are not at all prepared for this.Then they simply went away.I just don't know what blunder I did coz of which I was banged.(reason still unknown)

Guys, I froze. I knew someday, somewhere, sometime I will face the same agony.On that day, I decided that I wont allow anyone to slap me.If they do, I will THRASH them with my punch, I will SLAM their heads against the door, I will BATTER their chins down, and leave them lifelong CRIPPLE.

A month later..
Mousumi melodrama
Around 5 p.m. evening, we were waiting for the seniors outside the LH(ladies hostel) in the garden.Evening session were meant to enhance our interaction with the only girl of our clique, Mousumi(A.I.R. of the college...BBC sucks..try her).Seniors finally arrived and after few customary QnA round,came the real thing.

1 of the senior: Mousumi, you tend to avoid wishing us in the college.
mousumi: no sir,its impossible.
senior:Tell me, why you avoid us wishing.
An ideal reply would have been...sir,sorry if felt so.I will be more careful and attentive so that next time you don't feel that way

AND what our beloved Maria Curie replied.
1.Sir,probably you were preoccupied somewhere else when I wished.
2.Perhaps, you were in admin or department where you have prohibited us to wish.
3.Possibility is also there that when you have seen me but I hav'nt noticed you.
4.May be I was talking to some other seniors thats why I ignored you.
5.Chances are also there that I have been engrossed with my work so gravely that I just did'nt take care of you people.

Mousumi's philosophy gave us 2 lessons:
Lesson 1: Never give up unless you find someone else to blame.
Lesson 2: This 2nd lesson we learned in the night from 11 o'clock to around 3:30 a.m. at 7th block terrace.

What happened in the ming-boggling night learning class..well, in the next post

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saga continues...

Guys..just tell me, how it feels when you are all set to watch DDLJ and finally end up watching Hello Brother(STATUARY WARNING: never ever go for this movie..I became an Atheist after watching that hunkajunk).This is what happened when I had my first faint transient glimspse of the college.

In a week time I got settled a bit.In that 1 week, what was the scenario...let me give you a brief elucidation.


Mine was Narmada mess(Vth).Truly incredible.It was damn huge(100 can have their supper at a time with 100 waiting outside).It was elegantly constructed(Clear water dripping from the terrace on our chequered colour table) and was fully Air-Conditioned(out of 6 fans only 3 worked).

Food quality was mind-blowing(2cm thick oil layer over the cereals and chapatis uncooked at the edges(well, it had edges) embellished with brown wafers at the centre, vegetable curry was always an unsolved mystery). No discrimination whatsoever on any basis was followed(dogs and crows had the permanent membership at our mess, few dogs even stopped coming).

Thanking you god for proffering me this wonderful oppurtunity to be blessed with a Harry Potter movie kinda mess where I had "everything I want"(actually,"anything I can").I extend my heartfelt thanks to our mess committee for equipping me with steel intestines that can digest even 10 betel nuts at a time.


Classes were horrible.Each class of 1 hour duration seems to be as long as powercut in Bihar. I remember there was 1 teacher who use to give lecture on environmental science.Almost 80% of the time(sometimes even 120%) he use to brag about himself that he has been to this place, that university, X project, Y research.blah blah...everyday.Cmon, who gives a damn whether he has been doing a research project in Oklahoma university in Japan or doing a project on Selassianna tribes of Jamaica.Eventually, I thought of giving him "SHUT UP AND TEACH" award. Guys..truly far as I am concerned attending classes were just like forcing carbon to form pentavalent bonds.Strictly no no.

Thats all as per now.Ragging incidents in the next post.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


I still remember the day, 16th august -05 when I was sitting idle in 2670, Ganga Kaveri Exp., AS-II coach,seat no. 56, feeling pretty excited still mixed with a tingle of impending fear. Well, excited to join a college of my choice along with the branch I love(Okay,I lied) and frightened that I may be humiliated,molested,petrified,mortified by the savage seniors. the way who am I...

So, This is Vineet Singh. A fresh passout from NIT Warangal('09) presently at Petrofac(an oil and gas industry) in Chennai.The only thing that I have learned in 1 month of my corporate life experiences is that I am not fit for it. Guys... tell you one thing,if the administration decides to fire just one guy from the newly recruited GETs( graduate Enginner Trainees)...unanimously they will choose me.

BUT who cares...(well, I do care).

About me...myself a guy who is very passionate and energetic.(Almost in all job interviews when they asked the two positivism in me, I blabbered this thing only).About my passion, heyy, I am a guy who loves Racing(with snails),Driving(tricycles and Bugattis),Hunting killer whales,Skydiving (without parachutes),Skateboarding on landslides, Surfing on Bullet trains and flying on paper kites.I have also been into cooking.I love making Dosas(esp. the stone variety) and these days I am also into animal welfare activities like raising Panda Bears and teaching them how to peel bananas.

I am a Bookworm( and not a bookworm bitch) too.My favourite novels:

1. Harry Potter and book of lousy sequels

2. A Dolt who sold his Ferrari.

3. Mein Kampf (no one gave a damn).

And my personal hot favorite ....

4. Histoire de ma vie(it was ultimate as I didnt understand a word of it, spanish aint my thing or is it french..either way, who cares).

In nutshell, I read a lot...encyclopedia in particular.

I think its enough. You cant digest anymore I guess.

Okay..back to College in my next post.