Friday, October 23, 2009

Pizza HUnT


Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria

The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this

catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)


UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW

Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….

(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )

Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin

“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER


Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)


Courageous enough, he started again.

“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”

He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.


Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.

And then as expected.


25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.


Now, its our turn..


One of our 3rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1st years only who faked to be second years )

Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.

Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]

That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.

And then


Dhaaaaaddddd


Dev in sheer silence now.

So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.

Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.


Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)

Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?

Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.

Then my turn came

Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine


We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.


9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.

After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.

Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.


In between, came up my second year senior and said

”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”

Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.

Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.

Ohh… I loved that guy.

Suddenly

Dhaaaaaaddddddd

“THEN BEAR IT”…

I hate him!!

Osama bin laden in disguise.


Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.

But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.

Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.

More of ragging stuff in the next post.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

!!!Happy diwali!!!

My last Diwali!!in College.
Venue:In front of LH(ladies hostel).It was never called Girls hostel as every girl there seems to be old enough to be called as a girl.
Time around 7:30 p.m.

We assembled around the LH for the Diwali celebration.The show had already got its momentum.Rockets targetted to blow off the LH were shot.Sky bedizened with shimmering colors.Boom blast everywhere.Arena of thick smoke all around.Guards whistled,shouted,warned and then they subsequentaly gave up.As usual, Mallus were holding up the show.Every year they tend to bring truck loads of crackers.In my 4 year stay at college,the Diwali Law I conceived was "number of crackers is directly proportional to number of girls impressed".Still I never tried it.

Another oppurtunity Diwali gave to boys was a healthy way on to initiate the conversation with girl they liked.Many use to go to their crushes, wish them happy diwali ,shook hands, talk a bit and then, they were on Cloud No.9, as if they just had a date with Megan Fox.Late nights,when we ask them..How was it? Their respose: "Yeeeaahhh(stretching as long as possible),nothing special guys,just we had a nice time together.Seems like our frequency matches.See,what turns up tomorrow".Their conversation was just like a 2min HUTCH Zoo Zoos advertisement but they describe it like as big as an entire Mahabharata episode.AND the very next day,the same girl is on a date with some other guy.

AAAHHH,deviated yet again from the topic:Back on track

Our clan had around 20 members.4 girls included.The charm factor was their contribution.We started bursting our part of crackers.Its always a fun to watch girls blowing off crackers.They show truck loads of blushing and flushing but,this time it was a bit different.They lite crackers like match sticks.No dearth of courage.Lot of zeal inside.After an hour,when all fire cracking got ceased,we did something rather memorable.We collected all the cartoon, waste papers,dabbas etc and in the central part of the road, we burnt it.Around that we started to sing and dance.remind me of HOLIKA DEHEN.This event started with the famous national song of our college...Dilwalo ke Dil ka karaar lootney,mein aayi hoon UP,Bihar lootney followed by JHINGALALA HOO HOO-2.Title track of kahaani ghar-2 ki and kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi was not spared even.Cant forget the live chorus performance of the most besura version of "miley sur mera tumhara"We were loud enough to attract the dullards around.Everyone was rather amazed "what the hell they are doing" This mega event carried on upto,well,you can guess,until girls where present.Girls gone,charm gone,SHOW OVER.

At last,I must confess that last Diwali was the 1st day which made me feel that this is my LAST year at college.Felt really BROKEN.
Happy Dilwai to one and all.Back to my 1st year experiences in the next post.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

the Break Up


Gone are those days when we sat aside,

Chatting on every shit, wrong or right.

I use to listen to your silly jokes,

Gosh! they were pathetic but I still explode.



I always loved the way you smile

Dress my hair, touch my eyes.

Every moment seems to be so true so real,

But perhaps, you never felt the way I feel.



Eventually, life took a big u-turn,

Left now at the countryside, alone to burn

Made many mistakes, for that I am blue,

I have never been perfect but neither have you.



You never negotiate, cared my suggestion,

You always said, it’s your life, it’s your possession,

I tried hard to bring things back,

But train once derailed is never again on track.



One day, surely I will erase the memories away,

Or else it will haunt me like everyday,

Stuck in the past that continues to call,

Separated we stand baby, united we fall

Friday, October 9, 2009

ragging incidents continued....

Another set of incidents here to prove that you are just helpless when it comes to ragging.
1 of my 3rd year Senior-Vineet, what is the phone no. of Pankaj.
me: sir, 9866564765
Sr. : Himanshu's no.
me:9866963201
Sr.(a bit irked):whats the phone no. of Arpit.
me: 9440584484
Sr.(now annoyed): mousumi?
me:9866840688
Sr. (thermometer rising): Dev's?
me: 9346359879
Sr. (now baffled, "how dare u answer"kinda gesture); tell me Dev's mausajee phone no.( Dev's mother's sister's husband)
Me: "wwwhaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt"was my 1st reaction(straight away out of the syllabus question, I mean I m damn sure either Dev, neither Dev'mother nor Dev's mother's sister would have memorized that phone number, how the the hell he(Sr.) thinks that I know that or perhaps he was sure that atleast I wont be knowing it)

And he was ............... Right

Sorry sir, I dont know,I replied.
Sr.( a certain kind of content smile emanated on his face,a sort of "huh, so I won eventually"type of)
He came near to me and said "baby u r gone"

And again the same old story.. same old masterSTROKES and the same bloated cheeks next morning.


another atrocious case

Around 9 p.m. near cafetaria during the period when our ragging sessions became rather intense.
1 final year Sr. to Arpit( 1 of the most cutest boy of the college, because of the presence of these types of guys only, many fought for legalization of gay marriages in India): Tell my present year in the college Arpit.
Arpit: sir, 4th year
chattaakkkk
again, tell my college year arpit
arpit(rather bewildered): sir, 4/4 B.tech
chatttttaaak again
Sr. : (and then he answered)abey bastard...Final year,final year.
so, this was the answer he was expecting.
I was shocked..what these assholes want ....to carry a book of thesauraus with us so that we become well versed with synonyms..sucksssssss

Then, 1 of the our third year senior apporached me and asked :tell my year.
me: (me a bit frightened) sir, semi-final year.
They burst out in laughter..my imidiate seniors came and said: it means that we are quarter final year students and you people are league year students.Couple of slaps and session OVER.
MORE TO COME