Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria
The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this
catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)
UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW
Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….
(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )
Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin
“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER”
Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)
Courageous enough, he started again.
“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”
He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.
Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.
And then as expected.
25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.
Now, its our turn..
One of our 3rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1st years only who faked to be second years )
Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.
Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]
That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.
Dev in sheer silence now.
So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.
Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.
Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)
Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?
Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.
Then my turn came
Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine
We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.
9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.
After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.
Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.
In between, came up my second year senior and said
”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”
Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.
Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.
Ohh… I loved that guy.
“THEN BEAR IT”…
I hate him!!
Osama bin laden in disguise.
Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.
But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.
Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.
More of ragging stuff in the next post.