To begin with, I am not an alcoholic, but I have always been a integral part of all booze parties.
Reason:its total fun.
20th Feb 2009,
Final Year
14th block terrace,
around 9:30 pm
Everyone assembled at the terrace,super-excited,enthusiastic,with lots of targets whirling inside their mind. Sparkling eyes tells the rest of the story.Believe me guys, the only place where I have seen the same energy levels amongst guys was Common Hall, Block 13 in our college where everyone use to assemble together to watch sleazy flicks at midnight during 1st year.
As usual, the party started with few "meant to be broken promises" like
1. Today, I wont drink more than 2 pegs.(LOL)
2. Today, gonna be the last day of my alcoholism.(ULTRALOL)
3. Today, no drama afterwards.(ROTFLOL)
So things started to move, Being a non-drinker,I was assaying the whole crowd. Almost everyone had 1 glass half filled with RCs, Fosters etc etc.Bartender Kammo/Ron was serving others with full dexterity taking the occasional sips in between.
After sometime
Me: Oye Katte(real name AMIT), you said you won't drink more than 2 pegs and now you are gulping down the whole bottle of RC.
(
About Amit, well, he only drinks in two occasions:
1. when he is thirsty.
2. when he is not.
)
Katta (with a legendary PJ): yaar, I promised to have 2 pegs but did I mention anything about bottles....
I pleaded for Apology.
1st hour was smooth, it was only after an hour when things geared up. When the ones who take more time to reach THE HIGH starts targeting those who reach it in a very short span of time.
Rathi: Dev sir, aap batao! aapse woh ladki pati kyun nahin jisper aap bohut senti they?
Dev(somewhat @ HIGH): leave man, dont ask, today we are having a gala time. I don't want to spoil everyone's mood.
Rathi didn't asked again.
.
.
After another 5 min
.
.
Dev:You want to know na why things didn't worked out between me n PIRYA(name "almost changed" on Dev's request)...
and then he gazed towards Rathi..he was busy somewhere , least bothered about what Dev is babbling....
Dev contd: Since you are insisting, I will tell u.
It was only after 20 min when Rathi realized the gravity of his mistake.
As expected, Dev was never ending, giving every minute details, some original, some fake. Felt like watching kahani ghar ghar ki without any breaks in between.
Dev( with sudden adrenaline rush): Why this happened to me, Why Why Why,Where I was wrong.Where,Where Where,How come I was back stabbed,( I anticipated another HOW,HOW, HOW in my mind,though it didn't happen)Damn, I lost her.
The pinnacle of emotional drama followed.
"I wil never get her. I still love her.I cant forget her" and then
uuuuuaaaaa uuuuuuuaaaaaa uuuuuaaaaa
(Dev gonna kill me for this)
He was hemmed in by everyone. All started to give those Socrates kinda superhuman suggestions.Worst, some even started to narrate their experiences.
WTH
In between, me and Kammo,standing near the edge of the terrace were laughing like anything
Me : wat an asshole
Kammo: Whatever, this guy made my day.
Then commenced another melodrama
Katta this time
He came to me and said:I want to talk to you, its very personal and I want just you and me. Is it possible for you.
Guys, thats what Katta told me in ENGLISH..I never understand that why people tend to speak English after they are drunk.
Katta: Vineet, mein teri waali ko line nahin maarta.mujhe pata hai tere ko yehi lagta hai per plzz yaar really bata raha hoon,ekdum sach sach(AND IN HINDI ALSO),mein kabhi bhi uske peeche nahi bhaagta,maa kasam.
Now,this he wanted to say to me in private and trust me while telling, he was so loud(3D dolby-digital with cinema surround sound) that few more from the 2nd floor came listening.
And then came Ravi Goyal
fully drunk, legs shaking, hands trembling
Ravi: Bhai, tu mujhe apna bhai nahin maanta,
Before I start questioning/explaining
Ravi: But I consider you as my brother,(ohhhh,again damn to English) beaaccccaauuuuse( it took him 3-4 seconds to spell it) its u only with whom i can share my Dil-ki-baat.Can I tell you bhai?
His 15-20 minutes DIL-KI-BAAT was a real pain in the ass.Though, I must confess that when he concluded, I felt good .
Its because eventually he said: bhai, I am telling this just to u only because you are very close to me and I really feel you understand me(!@#$). I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?
Me: no way, dude
Ravi: I love u bhai
me : yuckkkk
I have heard that after being drunk, people do blurt out truth . I was happy coz someone considered me that way.
15 min later
I saw Ravi with Satpal
and see what Ravi was telling
Ravi: bhai, I am telling this just to you only because you are very close to me and I feel you can really understand that. I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?
Me to Satpal: he told the same story just now to me also.
Satpal: he has been telling me the same story for last 3 booze parties, I have memorized it by now. By any chance, if he forget any part while telling, I remind him also.
Hence, 1 more myth was cleared..drinkers are liars too.
Story isn't over yet( Ohhh Shit)
After every single drop of liquor got over, left to do nothing,everyone started teasing Motu(ankit)
Everyone: u don't have the balls to talk to that girl motey, u suck, u don't have bones.
MOTU: bring the phone, u suckers, just bring the phone, I will call her right now,u see, don't you guys ever dare to challenge me.
Some son of a bitch took motu's phone only n dialed the no.(loudspeaker mode)
Ring Ring
thathak(some1 picked up the call)
Motu: Hellllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooo (as loud as possible,)
Gal:whoz dis(with full American ascent)
Motu:Saali, tu mere se pat ti kyun nahin.Bata saali,bata. Saali mere mein problem hee kya hai.Kya kami hai mere mein jo tu mere ko dekh kar muh fer leti hai.
The gal started listing all his shortcomings .
Motu(after some 2 min,with full force): Chup saali, Bohut bolti hai
and then SHE(& not HE) hung up the phone.
Guys, this was real fun. Won't forget ever.
However, after this bacchanalia got over,the real hassle started for the non-drinkers like me. Many have puked,many were lying here n there. Me, Sourab, Balai etc have to make sure that everyone reach their respective rooms comfortably.
However, while we were carrying the wobbling Katta, he suddenly lost his temper.
Katta:Ron, I am not drunk, I am fully conscious and I can reach to my room on my own. I don't need anyone's assistance.
Guy: hmmm, I know, by the way I am not Ron, I am Vineet.
AND finally when I was coming down the stairs, this is what I heard,
Ravi was telling to Sourab:bhai, I telling this just to u only because you are very close to me and I feel you can really understand that. I have not told this to anyone before. Don't tell to anyone bhai. plzzz. u won't na bhai?
I love that guy.
PS1: sorry for writing such a long post.
Ps2; those who blurt out their secrets when drunk are not the REAL drinkers.
PS3: happy friendship day guys
