Pizza HUnT

Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria

The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this

catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)

UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW

Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….

(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )

Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin

“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER”

Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)

Courageous enough, he started again.

“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”

He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.

Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.

And then as expected.

25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.

Now, its our turn..

One of our 3^rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1^st years only who faked to be second years )

Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.

Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]

That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.

And then

Dhaaaaaddddd

Dev in sheer silence now.

So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.

Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.

Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)

Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?

Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.

Then my turn came

Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine

We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.

9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.

After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.

Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.

In between, came up my second year senior and said

”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”

Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.

Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.

Ohh… I loved that guy.

Suddenly

Dhaaaaaaddddddd

“THEN BEAR IT”…

I hate him!!

Osama bin laden in disguise.

Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.

But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.

Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.

More of ragging stuff in the next post.

the Break Up

Gone are those days when we sat aside,

Chatting on every shit, wrong or right.

I use to listen to your silly jokes,

Gosh! they were pathetic but I still explode.

I always loved the way you smile

Dress my hair, touch my eyes.

Every moment seems to be so true so real,

But perhaps, you never felt the way I feel.

Eventually, life took a big u-turn,

Left now at the countryside, alone to burn

Made many mistakes, for that I am blue,

I have never been perfect but neither have you.

You never negotiate, cared my suggestion,

You always said, it’s your life, it’s your possession,

I tried hard to bring things back,

But train once derailed is never again on track.

One day, surely I will erase the memories away,

Or else it will haunt me like everyday,

Stuck in the past that continues to call,

Separated we stand baby, united we fall

ragging incidents continued....

Another set of incidents here to prove that you are just helpless when it comes to ragging.
1 of my 3rd year Senior-Vineet, what is the phone no. of Pankaj.
me: sir, 9866564765
Sr. : Himanshu's no.
me:9866963201
Sr.(a bit irked):whats the phone no. of Arpit.
me: 9440584484
Sr.(now annoyed): mousumi?
me:9866840688
Sr. (thermometer rising): Dev's?
me: 9346359879
Sr. (now baffled, "how dare u answer"kinda gesture); tell me Dev's mausajee phone no.( Dev's mother's sister's husband)
Me: "wwwhaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt"was my 1st reaction(straight away out of the syllabus question, I mean I m damn sure either Dev, neither Dev'mother nor Dev's mother's sister would have memorized that phone number, how the the hell he(Sr.) thinks that I know that or perhaps he was sure that atleast I wont be knowing it)

And he was ............... Right

Sorry sir, I dont know,I replied.
Sr.( a certain kind of content smile emanated on his face,a sort of "huh, so I won eventually"type of)
He came near to me and said "baby u r gone"

And again the same old story.. same old masterSTROKES and the same bloated cheeks next morning.


another atrocious case

Around 9 p.m. near cafetaria during the period when our ragging sessions became rather intense.
1 final year Sr. to Arpit( 1 of the most cutest boy of the college, because of the presence of these types of guys only, many fought for legalization of gay marriages in India): Tell my present year in the college Arpit.
Arpit: sir, 4th year
chattaakkkk
again, tell my college year arpit
arpit(rather bewildered): sir, 4/4 B.tech
chatttttaaak again
Sr. : (and then he answered)abey bastard...Final year,final year.
so, this was the answer he was expecting.
I was shocked..what these assholes want ....to carry a book of thesauraus with us so that we become well versed with synonyms..sucksssssss

Then, 1 of the our third year senior apporached me and asked :tell my year.
me: (me a bit frightened) sir, semi-final year.
They burst out in laughter..my imidiate seniors came and said: it means that we are quarter final year students and you people are league year students.Couple of slaps and session OVER.
MORE TO COME