Friday, October 23, 2009

Pizza HUnT


Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria

The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this

catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)


UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW

Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….

(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )

Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin

“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER


Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)


Courageous enough, he started again.

“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”

He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.


Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.

And then as expected.


25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.


Now, its our turn..


One of our 3rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1st years only who faked to be second years )

Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.

Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]

That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.

And then


Dhaaaaaddddd


Dev in sheer silence now.

So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.

Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.


Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)

Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?

Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.

Then my turn came

Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine


We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.


9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.

After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.

Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.


In between, came up my second year senior and said

”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”

Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.

Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.

Ohh… I loved that guy.

Suddenly

Dhaaaaaaddddddd

“THEN BEAR IT”…

I hate him!!

Osama bin laden in disguise.


Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.

But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.

Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.

More of ragging stuff in the next post.

21 comments:

Mir said...

LOL!! funny stuff... Chetan Bhagat II
u're gettin' better... wayy better. gud goin \m/

RSV said...

HILARIOUS....
phod diya..(ya phoot gaye)
anyways a great post...
very witty lies used..

great
just great..

Dev said...

hehe... this is ur best work till now... keep writing buddy.. ;)

mr.weirdo!! said...

very hilarious :)

Vivek RdY WaNnA b FuT C.A said...

cool

Varun said...

oucch... that's bad man... i dunn know how u put up with that.. coz i certainly dint..[:p]

I screwed every single senior that tried to act smart... at the most they threatened not to give any guidance or support... but i knew very well... its the geerky nerdy seniors who wont take part in such stuff that can actually help u... and hence i dint give a damn about brutes. IF they were brutes I was a bigger one..[;)]

I am yet to be ragged, even after being in MBA second year[:d]

murthy_thehandsome(?) said...

lol... awesome... seriously hilariousness at its peak.. specially that gandhiji's example was narrated properly... loved it... completely raw.. makes me feel we have just gone through that session... :)
go vineeet ... go....

Karthik said...

This was awesome man! One of your best posts. :)
"Just write butter panneer on a piece of paper and he will eat that too..." lol....:D
Lots of one liners...! :P
Loved it man. Keep writing more! :-)

adi said...

Dude why did you even put with such crap

keerthana said...

abbha!!! thank god!! i dont ve such kind of raggings in my college... gr8 escape...
post ur next blog soon!!!!!!!!!

vamsi said...

hahaha..utter comedy..rofl..great sense of humour dude..:)

ηανєєη said...

rofl ...loved it ... specially the 6 degree differential equation for arts student

I changed from science to arts after 12th ... I know :D

√♪נ汉Ψ said...

Heeee.......heeeee
Then people are ragged loke this at your college.......
NIcely written....
keep it up..

rahul said...

awesome..dude...phod..diya.
waitin..4..more..

Himanshu Karki said...

nice nd funny

keep psting such posts

Pooja Menon said...

This was really good.. The first work of yours that I've read.. I was getting agitated and laughing out alternately.. Agitated coz the ragging was insane.. Laughing coz you've really added nice one-liners in between.. Really impressed.. Keep the posts flowing..!

Pratik said...

Nice post !Excellent writing.

Mani Lalwani said...

learning the list by heart, in alphabetical order, according to the branches, not going to the canteen, using internet lab at 6 in the morning !!!
nostalgic.. damn nostalgic...

vineet said...

we all did it, trust me i had all dose 101 slaps in 8 months of vigorous ragging

NIKHIL said...

hehehe....one liners awesum...abhi bhi has raha hun...
rum no : 8-1-10
name :vineet singh
victim : nikhil gupta
aap ka wo chatak yaad aa gaya....
neways kip posting...

Anonymous said...

loved it,loved it,just loved it.
sorry not being rude by loving ur slap saga.
Instead ur writing!
it's great fun 2 read.