Another east side story

Sometimes when I think about that golden period,
around a decade back, when I was just a hebetudinous idiot.
In class 8th I was, just engrossed in books
love and romance, far away from their hooks.

Then in my class, came this ravishing girl,
mesmerized everyone like a scintillating pearl.
Her every svelte move amassed enormous attention.
My word!!! She was like heaven's priceless possession.

Soon she got the deserved "celebrity" stardom,
Flattering bozos trying hard to make an impression.
For a guy like me who was just a face in the crowd
she simply seems to be out of destination.

Then one day, she came to my seat
asked me…if I am not wrong, Are you Vineet?
Flying high, I replied YES
asked my fellow, has sun rose from the west?

She continued, can u lend me your history sheets
but, I didn’t listen what she speaks
her brown hazel eyes had done the trick
alluring, sensual with a touch of mischief.

Yes, sure, sure yes..I stammered like hell,
can’t help...she was the princess of damsel.
Every other guy was jealous cum horrified,
what plot did this nerd has employed.

Geez!!I had a big crush on that bonny beauty
childhood love, they are pure, free from treachery
can’t forget those maiden sleepless nights
still, must confess, it was like a memorable misery.

Time played a role and so did the fate.
My dad posted then to a different place
years we didn’t talked we didn’t nattered
my binding crush, finally tattered.

Then few years later, I did manage a call
her voice hypnotized me like a Christmas snowfall
blushed, she revealed without a clue
trust me Vineet, I HAD a crush on you.

twilight

Its not a movie review...

11th December,i.e.the day before yesterday.5 o'clock evening in the office.

Me: Murthy, we should start in around 10 minutes from now.Show time is at 6:50 p.m.
Murthy: cmon Vineet, its just a 15 min drive for me,I know a shortcut.
Me:How come just 15 minutes.Bus 32B(yeahh,its the bus number....what you thought?) takes around an hour to reach.
I was kinda desperate to go to INOX for watching twilight,plus it was at CITI centre, the place in Chennai where you can find the so called variety of humans species called " GIRLS".

Murthy:Chill dude,you just leave everything on me.Same old typical mein hoon naa dialogue.
I froze.whenever he had said that...it had led to disastrous culminations.But I didn't know that today, he is going to add another feather in his cap of continuum screwball.

5:20 p.m.
Me(almost in his knees):Murthy,please bey..lets start naa.We will be late.
Murthy: chill man.
Me: (irritated)asshole u gonna come or not!
Murthy(finally):wait for me at the lower basement.I am coming within 1 minute.

I went and waited.10 minutes gone, still he didn't turned up.I tried calling him.No network.Thanks to Tata Docomo which needs some special medium for delivering the signal.
I came to ground floor and waited there.After 10 min or so,he came and guess what, straight away approached me and asked "where you have been?".
I gave that peculiar stern gaze of mine and replied"paying the final installment to the mafia for killing someone I hate the most"
Murthy:okokok!sit at the back. (as if Honda Activa has other options also)

It was 5:40 pm.

As soon as we came out on to the main road..Heavy traffic.
Cars, bikes, cycles all where moving at the same speed.
We too were driving at a phenomenal speed of 20km/hr.(
All I can say,
In India you drive on the left side of the road.
In Chennai you drive on what is left on the road.
Felt like Wright Brothers must be driving on this road only when they thought of flying.

6:20p.m.
We were still away from the target area.I had no idea where we were. I asked Murthy,are we on the right path?
Murthy(as usual): 110% dude.
Gosh! I love his confidence of never giving up and mine too for everytime giving up on him.
Me : How long from here?
Murthy :10 min
I remembered that 1 minute he mentioned about coming to the lower basement thing.

10 min later he suddenly stopped and asked a fellow passerby: Is this the way to CITI centre?
I was dumbstruck.The 110% sure guy after 10 min was asking the way out.
The fellow replied:nopes..take a U turn.go straight.Take right from some abc statue,left from some xyz hospital.again right...again left.....blah blah.

My mind swirled.U turn I presume.All I inferred from his statement was that we are still way away from INOX. I cursed Murthy from the most bottom of my heart with all my multilingual dictionary of abusive phrases.
We turned 180 degrees.

10 min later,still we were nowhere.

Its 7 o'clock now.Traffic was extreme.mid way saw a deadlock in the road coz of a squabble between a women and van driver.It was funny.Murthy even stopped driving and waited for the result of the fight between the two.Waited for another 1o min for clearance.
Finally we do made it to INOX at around 7:35p.m.
45 minutes late.

I entered the theatre. No one was there to escort us to the predefined seats.We saw the 1st row empty. Sat there till interval(yeahhh....just20 minutes).Movie was good.Kristen Stewart looked godly beautiful.Alas!My mom may search someone like her for me too.

9:15 p.m. movie ended.But ours started yet again.
As soon as we came out,I pleaded Murthy not to take any shortcut this time. I have some work next morning.
We came out but soon we realized that we have not taken the parking tickets in utter hurry.Paid the penalty for that.Then after moving few blocks away, Murthy overdrove the red signal.Police saw us, whistled and we, like an ideal Indian citizen, thought of escaping.But his wide fearless eyes rest assured us that if we are caught,our birth certificates are just a worthless document.
We screeched to halt and tried to negotiate.
Me: Sir, we are completely new to this place.
Policeman:Cmon man, red light anywhere in the world means "STOP".
Murthy:Sir, Spare us this time,we won't repeat this ever.
Policeman:Pay the penalty this time, I won't charge you ever.
Initially he said that he will charge Rs 350 but sweet pathetic faces of us made him to compromise at Rs 200.
(actually for Rs 200, he don't have to go for challans and hence that money straight away goes in his pocket).
While returning saw a bike accident LIVE.No one died but still it had an impact over us.After that,Murthy was driving at a speed of 30kmph on a 8 lane "almost empty" road.

Soon it started raining. We stopped in between for another 30 minutes. It was now 10:40 p.m.
We reached our area at around 11p.m. only to find that Dominos was closed.I slept hungry though kept on cursing Murthy to satisfy my hunger.

so that was the much awaited Twilight movie I watched apparently with a Tube-light.
P.S.: Women won the fight between her and the van driver.Another"as expected"result.
P.S. 2: Murthy was planning to write this post in his blog by replacing his name by me.

2nd year..in CED(Civil Engineering Department)

Every morning in Africa, a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest deer or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter if you are a lion or a deer. When the sun comes up, you better start running.

Guys,welcome to civil engineering department. Daily classes from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. kept us running only.Every morning, I wake up cursing the ever punctual sun and then my room-mates Pankaj and Arpit.In final year,the TnP(training and placement)in-charge took that honor.Even then,no matter when I wake up,I always reach late.Sometimes searching for the room keys,notebook(and not notebookS),socks and trust me sometimes I do wear different color combination of socks in utter frustration.

CED was damn hap.An exquisite mix of students of all states.Seeing different languages varying from hindi,telugu,bengali to marathi,tamil and manipuri and diverse living style of everyone in a single room was altogether a complete different experience.Perhaps,this was the best thing that I liked being an NITian.You can see the cultures flowing in and out there.In just a month or so,the feeling of being a bihari or telugu or mallu, bengali etc. was dissolved.No matter of all the differences we had,there were few things that were common in all of us.
1. we all curse mess food
2. we all hate to wake up early
3. we all(almost) were prompt to bunk classes.

The reason why i wrote "almost" was because of the guys like Ajay(fondly called saanpu coz of his eccentric body structure) who was always into classes like a dog is always into bones.Bunking for him was a sin, a ticket to hell.The almost topper of our department had all the "nakhdas" of being the superior.Just like a superhit actress in bollywood.This guy believed in just one theory of his"A friend in need is not a friend of his".

Classes technically were boring.I remember the Building drawing classes and trust me,I really suck big time in visualizing the 3D image of anything.Cmon,drawing triangular mountains and a circular sun on a chart paper took 20 years of mine,how come the perfection in 3D view come in just one semester.Classes on structures added the last nail in the coffin.Stress-strain curves added stress on my mind and strain in my fingers.Still,whatever be the situation,how boring be the classes,there was fun all around.
All I can say"the road to success is always under construction"
GET IT DONE-CIVIL ENGINEERS

P.S: regardin ajay...this guy had a sea change in his attitude in next coupe of years.More of like a Down to Earth guy( still above many of us) who was always ready to help.

Golden Night

Perhaps my last post on ragging...aahhhh...being ragged.

10 p.m.
Friday Night.
Near cafeteria.
Golden night is the night when you are ragged for the last time...all you can expect in this dead silence of night is ruthlessness at its Everest peak.
We were 10 minutes late to our final destination i.e. the ragging spot.

Scene 1
Senior: Give me a valid reason why you are late.
Pankaj(refreshing his concepts of relativity):Sir, when we were coming, the wind was blowing in the opposite direction as a result of which our relative velocity reduced and we reached late.
Dev(heights of civil Engineering):Sir, due to excessive heat, the tar and charcoal on the road expanded as a result of which the distance between our hostel and this place increased.Hence, we got late.
Gosh!! some one rightly said:Two most common elements in universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
In latter we did our B.Tech.
Sr.then turned towards me and said: So vineet!what's your stand on this?
me: Sir,to err is human.
Sr.(with an affectionate smile): To forgive is not my policy dear.
Me(thinking):PJ..what a crap!
Flabbergasted we were, when he didn't do anything fishy at that moment of time.

Scene 2
We all, the so called 1st years(zero according to them), were sitting in a semi-circular pattern with an incharge-in-chief Sr. at the centre. Rest all seniors encircling us. Our condition was like mice caged in a snake-house prompt to be ingurgitated at any moment of time.

Sr. who was sitting at the centre was half drunk(take it in a +ve way,he was still half empty).Placed in Accenture this guy started narrating a story...
There was a lion who went to a jungle alone.
(suddenly with full swing of hand, he slapped Arpit)
dhaaaaddddd.
Story continued
He saw a cat there and asked "are you single"
dhaaaadddd..this time Himanshu was the victim.
Cat replied"No, I am happily married and have two kids" chotu and munni"
dhaaaaadddd...me got lucky.

The blessed story of his( and the tragic story of ours) went for around 15 minutes with eventually a cow being sent to Mars at the climax.I don't remember what happened in between except all those 50 slaps that were rained all over us in that quick succession.All I can say..HIGH PERFORMANCE......DELIVERED". Awesome publicity of his company.

Afterward there were lot of surprise games enwrapped for us to suffer and them to relish. Numerous free gifts(why they call it free gifts,Aren't all gifts free) were veiled as well.

1. Anchor 1 Minute: In 1 minute, I have to slap the neighbor mate as many times as possible and vice versa.The looser (who slapped less no. of times ) later on, was slammed by equal number of times by the margin he lost..by the seniors. Everytime,it was me who lost....
Interesting one naa, try this at home with your siblings.

Indian Idol:No qualification required.We all, one by one, performed on the dais, the so called patriotic song of our college."yeh NIT ki basti hai'
Can't write the second line else you all will report my blog abuse.


Bournvita Quiz Contest:Play with the girl next door.The seniors asked every minute detail of almost all other girls of our college.Can't go in details, though you can imagine what they asked. Wrong, incomplete, non-attempted answers lead to our asses being hanged till death.

The excruciation carried on and on for around 2a.m. Finally, they made us to stand in a line and ask us to close our eyes.We expected another round of nukes being dropped on to us but this time..well,it was finally over.They handed us the very awaited FRESHER'S invitation.

They all hugged us subsequetly,shook hands,wished all the best and all sorts of "Hum saath saath hai " drama supervened. Himanshu kissed the card in air as if Bill Gates has written all his property in that card. In jubilation, some of us even cried.Some like me faked to cry.Dev,as usual, overacting..."Sir,we didn't expected this today".Though everyone of us was damn sure about this invitation stuff.

Next day, the only thing I remember was, I purchased a tube of Boro Plus to apply it on my tormented cheeks.Even I joined a community in orkut "I love Boro Plus".

What next in my blogpost,I don't know.

Embarrassing exams

Our end-semester exams were scheduled to start from Monday,21st November, 2005.

7:30p.m, 20th Oct.2005(1 month before the exam), in my room:

Me charged up like a inflated Hydrogen balloon.
"From 8 p.m. tonight I will surely kick start my preparation so as to come up with flying colors in upcoming examination and can even opt for branch upgradation."

After 1 month,
20th Nov.2005, i.e. 1 day before exam,7:30 p.m. in my room:

Me like a punctured tyre with no desire to be put to re-use..
"From 8 p.m. tonight I have to kick start my preparation else buckle up for the supplementary examination."

Still half an hour left to eight, I popped out to have a glance at others . Chaos all around, as if year 2012 is knocking at the door. I went to Pankaj’s room( the only thing this guy has learned in his entire 4 years of Computer Sc. Engrr. is Ctrl C + Ctrl V, Save As and Shut Down) for some sort of sympathy.Astonishingly, he too was diving in the quagmire of studies. I panicked.Wow!Sachin Tendulkar studying Quantum physics.

Came back. Turned my notes. On the 1st page of the notebook was a scenery comprising of hills,huts and a sun caricature by me on the 1st day,1st class of my new college life. 2nd page had a train drawn over it.3rd to 10 pages contained scorecards of Raja,Mantri,Chor, Sipahi we use to play during classes. Thereafter came some meaningful notes. In between, again there were lots of blank pages over which it was written in font size 28 ”CLASS BUNKED”
Screwed up.

Night at 12 o’clock.
I started yet again.The problem with bulk of engineering students is that if they are been given 2 hours to study,they will spend 1 hour in counting pages.Being a proud engineer I did that again and again as if the no. of pages gonna slenderize after every enumeration.After reading 5-6 pages, my eyes started becoming dizzy.Inert mind started smothering.Other body parts marched hand in hand with the brain. I started telling myself…

Don't give it up dear. You can do it.
Don't give...up.You...do it....
Don't ...up...do.. it.
Don't...do...it
zzzzzzz.....
I slept off.

Morning 7o’clock.
knock knock
Someone shouting on the door: Vineet, give me the notes.
In only 2 cases, someone asks notes from me.
1.I am dreaming.
2.It’s his notes.
This time it was clause no.2. The guy gave his notes provided it is returned by next morning.Within few seconds, I regained my senses only to discover that I am loosing it.He took his notes away with him along with my aspirations to pass.Still,I encouraged myself by thinking that 7 out of 10 suffer from Maths illiteracy.I love to be in majority.

Exams for me are like Black lady's left ass,it's not right and it's not fair.

15 minutes before only, I entered the dreadful realm of downright depression,Room no. 602.
Many already arrived.Girls came with full make-ups.Black pen, blue pen,violet and red sketch pens all around.Only water colors were missing.The Complan boy(expected topper) even brought lemon and orange juices with him.Together they all were discussing something which was like Da-Vinci Code for me.
Altogether I concluded,there are only 2 things that can save me.
1.Good seating arrangement.
2.Good cheating arrangement.

I didn't get any.
Paper started.I was beseated in the last bench of the middle row.Out of 7 question we have to answer any 5.I knew 2.Solved it in next 1 hour..2 hours still remaining.I was kind of bored.Every second was taking more than a second to pass.Felt like I am watching DRONA movie.I looked above at the PSPO ceiling fan and started counting the no. of rotations per minute.Enough of it, I started contemplating the crowd around me.

Complan boy was writing at an immortal speed as if he is writing for me also.Girls as usual, using all their red,blue, green pens as if they are answering,checking and even awarding marks for all the questions they faked to attempt.The invigilator was showing keen interest in inspecting almost each and every student.Gosh! if he has shown the same interest while teaching us, the magnets of knowledge and curiosity would have activated way before in me(I need to blame someone)Some skilled ones were searching for the right slips in their 6 pocket jeans(purchased for this special occasion).

I too rose according to the demands .I sneaked to catch a flash view of front seated guy's answer sheet.No success coz he concealed his sheet like a CIA secret agent.Meanwhile,the invigilator saw me and said
"I hope I didn't see you looking at Ajay's paper.
"I hope you didn't either" I almost replied.
Another hour fled.
I regained momentum in last half an hour when few godly guys came up for my rescue.Teamwork which is less "me" and more "we" really works.I ended up attempting all the question(5).
Eventually, I must confess that my paper was not as pathetic as I imagined.It was bad for sure still not that awful.

Class assignment(by the Seniors)

Room no. 604
8:50 a.m.
I arrived at the class 1O minutes before in order to grab the last bench so as to complete the 2000 word horrendous assignment given by our senior on a mind-blowing topic " AN AFFAIR WITH AN ANT".The last bench was already occupied by a couple of Maharashtra guys.

Me:Dude,can you give me your seat,I need to complete the assignment.
That guy just flashed his folder sheets in the air over which his topic was written
"Why Parle G and not Parle F"
3000 words
His teary weary eyes truly expressed that he can't write 3000 words about himself..where came this Parle A,B,C,D thing.I expressed my heartfelt sympathy to him like a co-prisoner who is locked up in the same jail.

So, I started writing.Asked for an internet appareled mobile from a friend.Googled the topic and whatever I found...All I can say is that if you are below 18,don't try this thing out.

30 minutes later, I was fully exhausted.Mind clogged.My condition was like a guy who is sitting in his toilet trying hard to Shit,then also ending up with nothing.Guys,truly speaking,writing 2000 words on that silly topic felt like counting 2000 stars in daytime.I was so enervated that once, even I started listening to the chemistry's professor's crap.

After 30 seconds of my traumatic concentration,I turned my head towards my bench-mate.Rolling the pen between his finger,fully captivated in the class, he was noting even the minute details of the Cannizzaro reaction is his king-size notebook as if he has to prepare a national railway budget for the next fiscal year from all those details.An ideal Complan boy I guess.

I started writing again(crap).I tried to wrote a sensual portrayal of the ant.Something like this...
Wearing a tight pink colored T-shirt outfitted with 6-legged blue Calvin Klein torn jeans escorted with a long silky hair(0.2mm),she looked like an angel from heaven(yeeaahhh...the Negro version).Her microscopic hazel eyes when affixed with me, I immediately knew she was the ONE for me.My heart started pounding hard and her delicate antennae blissfully fitted on her head displayed the frequency as 121 beats/second.Holy Mackeral!!!she was implausibly ravishing.Probably James Blunt has sung the song "You are beautiful" remembering that gorgeous babe only.

Thereafter, I wrote "something something" which was completely bullshit just like the last paragraph.Even then,2000 words was a gargantuan task.So, I stopped pestering my timid brain.I took out of The Times of India newspaper which we generally use to bring in the class for time-pass.Some spicy news of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline love mishap was making the top stories.I copied the whole report just replacing Britney's name with her and Kevin's with me.

Around 5 p.m. in the evening, I submitted the uncanny report to one of my most chilled senior.My goodness, he started reading it with 110% concentration word after word as if it's an end-semester's leaked question paper.I shivered as they have strictly mentioned not to copy from any external sources.After around 15 minutes of absolute silence,he said
"well done boy,Good work!"
I relaxed(72 beats/second)now.Felt like a cold-blooded criminal has been denied of all charges and has been declared innocent.Before I can feel the feelings anymore,that senior(walking away with a guileful smile)said
"By the way,Britney and Kevin are having a good time now.Hope you too have a good time tonight at the 5th block terrace at 11p.m....SHARP.

SHIT SHITT SHITTT

Pizza HUnT

Mid-January, around 11 p.m. near cafeteria

The first thing that caught my eyes as soon as I stepped into this

catastrophic arena of blazing juniors was the rigorous ragging session of Uttar Pradesh(UP, which comprised of 20+ first years)

UP Senior.: yes Ankit, tell all your statemates name within 30 seconds loudly. Your time starts…….NOW

Ankit with a jet pace: Sir, Kamal srivastava, Ankur panday, Priya zutshi, Rajat jain, Prakash kumar….

(indeed, he was fast. As if he had done a crash course of Rapidex english speaking )

Seeing his swift flow, senior interrupted and said with a wide grin

“IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER”

Screwed up. Aghast eyes wide open in utter dismay… He was bewildered, rather baffled, perplexed, dumbfounded(for more stupid synonyms like this, visit www.thesaurus.com)

Courageous enough, he started again.

“Ankit aggrawal,Ankur panday,Abhinay patel….and so on.”

He took 55 sec to complete the task. Still impressive I guess.

Sr.(not at all giving a shit out of his triumph) : You took(staring at his watch) 25 seconds more.

And then as expected.

25 continuous slaps, one after one, were bombarded on just one side of his golu-molu cheeks. Even Gandhiji would have given up his non-violence practice after that.

Now, its our turn..

One of our 3^rd year Sr. came near to Dev(Flashback Time:This guy was stripped into his underwear first day by the fellow 1^st years only who faked to be second years )

Sr.: Dev ,It has came to our notice that you people tend to order pizzas everyday and use to escape dinners.

Dev(overacting at its best) : Sir,“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.(he almost pulled E apart from W) ]

That senior gave that eccentric stern gaze.

And then

Dhaaaaaddddd

Dev in sheer silence now.

So tell me how many pizzas you have ordered in last 5 months.

Dev(after all his algebraic and trigonometry calculations): sir, One.

Sr. smirked and went ahead to Himanshu(a big connoisseur, just take a piece of paper, write butter paneer over it and this guy will eat that too)

Sr.: So Himanshu,how many pizzas?

Himanshu(lost in his own world);aaaaaaa sirrrrr..ummmmm (as if a first year ARTS student has been asked to solve a 6 degree differential equation within 3 minutes).Sir, five.

Then my turn came

Me(without any second thought): Sir, nine

We all answered dissimilar numbers which is like an unforgivable deed. Perchance you people can imagine what was next.

9 continuous slaps he assailed on me, non-stop.

After 4, it felt like I am in local anesthesia.

Thereafter he moved towards Dev to equalize the same.

In between, came up my second year senior and said

”Vineet, its just a matter of few more days dear. Bear it buddy .Will you bear it naa?”

Guys, you need someone in those tragic times who can alleviate your pain. I was moved emotionally by his gratitude. He felt like Father Teresa for me. Coming from nowhere.

Heads down I replied ”I will bear it, sir, for sure”.

Ohh… I loved that guy.

Suddenly

Dhaaaaaaddddddd

“THEN BEAR IT”…

I hate him!!

Osama bin laden in disguise.

Guys,overall that day everyone got ample number of slaps ranging from 10 to 20 depending upon their sheer luck. Dev topped the list. And perhaps taken as a whole we were not that wrong collectively, we ordered around 159 pizzas in those 5 months.

But even we have said 159(1+5+9) naa…then also……..well, I cant imagine.

Thanking Dev without whom I couldn’t have come up with this post.

More of ragging stuff in the next post.

the Break Up

Gone are those days when we sat aside,

Chatting on every shit, wrong or right.

I use to listen to your silly jokes,

Gosh! they were pathetic but I still explode.

I always loved the way you smile

Dress my hair, touch my eyes.

Every moment seems to be so true so real,

But perhaps, you never felt the way I feel.

Eventually, life took a big u-turn,

Left now at the countryside, alone to burn

Made many mistakes, for that I am blue,

I have never been perfect but neither have you.

You never negotiate, cared my suggestion,

You always said, it’s your life, it’s your possession,

I tried hard to bring things back,

But train once derailed is never again on track.

One day, surely I will erase the memories away,

Or else it will haunt me like everyday,

Stuck in the past that continues to call,

Separated we stand baby, united we fall

ragging incidents continued....

Another set of incidents here to prove that you are just helpless when it comes to ragging.
1 of my 3rd year Senior-Vineet, what is the phone no. of Pankaj.
me: sir, 9866564765
Sr. : Himanshu's no.
me:9866963201
Sr.(a bit irked):whats the phone no. of Arpit.
me: 9440584484
Sr.(now annoyed): mousumi?
me:9866840688
Sr. (thermometer rising): Dev's?
me: 9346359879
Sr. (now baffled, "how dare u answer"kinda gesture); tell me Dev's mausajee phone no.( Dev's mother's sister's husband)
Me: "wwwhaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt"was my 1st reaction(straight away out of the syllabus question, I mean I m damn sure either Dev, neither Dev'mother nor Dev's mother's sister would have memorized that phone number, how the the hell he(Sr.) thinks that I know that or perhaps he was sure that atleast I wont be knowing it)

And he was ............... Right

Sorry sir, I dont know,I replied.
Sr.( a certain kind of content smile emanated on his face,a sort of "huh, so I won eventually"type of)
He came near to me and said "baby u r gone"

And again the same old story.. same old masterSTROKES and the same bloated cheeks next morning.


another atrocious case

Around 9 p.m. near cafetaria during the period when our ragging sessions became rather intense.
1 final year Sr. to Arpit( 1 of the most cutest boy of the college, because of the presence of these types of guys only, many fought for legalization of gay marriages in India): Tell my present year in the college Arpit.
Arpit: sir, 4th year
chattaakkkk
again, tell my college year arpit
arpit(rather bewildered): sir, 4/4 B.tech
chatttttaaak again
Sr. : (and then he answered)abey bastard...Final year,final year.
so, this was the answer he was expecting.
I was shocked..what these assholes want ....to carry a book of thesauraus with us so that we become well versed with synonyms..sucksssssss

Then, 1 of the our third year senior apporached me and asked :tell my year.
me: (me a bit frightened) sir, semi-final year.
They burst out in laughter..my imidiate seniors came and said: it means that we are quarter final year students and you people are league year students.Couple of slaps and session OVER.
MORE TO COME

Rox

SLAPoginity lost..

This post is dedicated to those who still have the courage and forbearance to go through this one.

Continuing from the last post

At 11p.m. 7^th Block terrace

Guys, going to seniors at that instant of time felt like jumping off the wrong side of volcanic Mt. Fuji. I was quite aware of the package God has enwrapped for me that night.

So, at the 7th block terrace, 5 seniors beleaguering me.

One of the senior: So Vineet, Whose mistake it was..we seniors or Mousumi? (refer last post)

Vineet( that’s me, the multitasker, who screws everything at the same time):Sir, you (pinpointing the fellows culminated to atrocious aftermath)

Senior(grinning): What’s your present score (= how many slaps you have enjoyed from day1 of ragging)?

Me: zero

Stunned, bedazed , they gave that “How you saved your ass” look. Believe me, Their verbalism was just like that of the FBIs who have the convict of Michael Jackson murder in their custody but not prosecuted yet.

Then,

1 of the senior: Vineet, Look Up.

I did

Senior: look down

I did

Senior: look right

I did

Senior: look left

I did

Senior: look front

Dhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddd

I almost did

My face turned 45 degrees in the x-y plane towards my right.

Dhaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddd( yet again, this time someone from the right)

My face back to origin looking front.

Guys, me got bedazzled. I sobbed. Tears trickled down my aghast eyes through my intumesced cheeks dribbling on the ground. I wasn’t wailing like mummy, mummy sort of but rather I whimpered with spasmodic breaths in between. Perhaps, air was trying to enter my lungs but failed. And about THRASHing them with my punch, SLAMMing their heads against the door, leaving them lifelong CRIPPLE and BATTERing their chins down, well, all gone with the wind. Hence, this way guys, I lost my SLAPoginity

Trust me, I was so perplexed that I really felt that God has given me the Middle Finger because of these people only .However, One thing was sure. No matter what they say and how many times they change their opinion, the fact remains the same…THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

And about the Lesson learned, well that is something in a rather serious note: Life is not an I-POD..listening your favorite songs..it’s a RADIO you must tune yourself to enjoy.. whatever comes in it.

PIZZA tragedy in the next post.

Ragging..its all about barbarism,trauma.......FUN

Ragging was perhaps the most convivial episode of my entire engineering era of 4 years.From my frame of reference, it's only those without a spine, Crumble against ragging and besides if you can't stand up to a bunch of guys elder to you, then forget the world.

This is the story of how I crumbled.

In our college, there were all together 100 golden rules needed to be followed during the ragging period(R.P.)

1. Wear formals with nothing in the shirt pocket.

2. Usage of shortforms were not allowed.

3. Bakery, Internet centres, Juice point etc.(except Library which did'nt make any difference) were all outlawed.

4.Every minute details of the fellow juniors has to be nailed down in the mind.

5.Wish the seniors every time you see them.

6.NEVER wish them at admin and departments.(Gosh, I wont forget this 1 ever)

7.

.

.

.

.

100.

Rule 7 to rule 100 were formulated and crushed while molesting us at the spot only(like at the cafetaria, shrinu point, 7th block terrace etc. etc.).

Meena Misfortune

2 weeks after I joined..

Around 9 p.m. in the night,I saw Rajesh Kumar Meena (kicking butt since 1985, this guy has got more hair on his chest than the Sloth bears of south-east asia) returning dejected, eyes red with his palm over his bloated cheeks.I asked, what happened and he went straight into his room unresponsed.

Next Morning.

Me: what happened last night?

Meena(with a glaring gaze): picnic in paradise.you missed it.

Me: okay fine.Tell me

Meena: Buddy, I was called abruptly by 1 of our seniors while I went to draw out money from the ATM. He asked me to close my eyes.I did.I just thought that these morons will clap in front of my face aspiring to scare me and I will act accordingly pretending that I was terror-striken.

And Then..

(lights, camera, action)

Chaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk

(Cut,lights off,packup)

Meena: (almost sobbing)man, It took time for me to regain senses.Yaar, it really hurts when you are not at all prepared for this.Then they simply went away.I just don't know what blunder I did coz of which I was banged.(reason still unknown)

Guys, I froze. I knew someday, somewhere, sometime I will face the same agony.On that day, I decided that I wont allow anyone to slap me.If they do, I will THRASH them with my punch, I will SLAM their heads against the door, I will BATTER their chins down, and leave them lifelong CRIPPLE.

A month later..

Mousumi melodrama

Around 5 p.m. evening, we were waiting for the seniors outside the LH(ladies hostel) in the garden.Evening session were meant to enhance our interaction with the only girl of our clique, Mousumi(A.I.R. of the college...BBC sucks..try her).Seniors finally arrived and after few customary QnA round,came the real thing.

1 of the senior: Mousumi, you tend to avoid wishing us in the college.

mousumi: no sir,its impossible.

senior:Tell me, why you avoid us wishing.

An ideal reply would have been...sir,sorry if felt so.I will be more careful and attentive so that next time you don't feel that way

AND what our beloved Maria Curie replied.

1.Sir,probably you were preoccupied somewhere else when I wished.

2.Perhaps, you were in admin or department where you have prohibited us to wish.

3.Possibility is also there that when you have seen me but I hav'nt noticed you.

4.May be I was talking to some other seniors thats why I ignored you.

5.Chances are also there that I have been engrossed with my work so gravely that I just did'nt take care of you people.

Mousumi's philosophy gave us 2 lessons:

Lesson 1: Never give up unless you find someone else to blame.

Lesson 2: This 2nd lesson we learned in the night from 11 o'clock to around 3:30 a.m. at 7th block terrace.

What happened in the ming-boggling night learning class..well, in the next post

Saga continues...

Guys..just tell me, how it feels when you are all set to watch DDLJ and finally end up watching Hello Brother(STATUARY WARNING: never ever go for this movie..I became an Atheist after watching that hunkajunk).This is what happened when I had my first faint transient glimspse of the college.

In a week time I got settled a bit.In that 1 week, what was the scenario...let me give you a brief elucidation.

MESS

Mine was Narmada mess(Vth).Truly incredible.It was damn huge(100 can have their supper at a time with 100 waiting outside).It was elegantly constructed(Clear water dripping from the terrace on our chequered colour table) and was fully Air-Conditioned(out of 6 fans only 3 worked).

Food quality was mind-blowing(2cm thick oil layer over the cereals and chapatis uncooked at the edges(well, it had edges) embellished with brown wafers at the centre, vegetable curry was always an unsolved mystery). No discrimination whatsoever on any basis was followed(dogs and crows had the permanent membership at our mess, few dogs even stopped coming).

Thanking you god for proffering me this wonderful oppurtunity to be blessed with a Harry Potter movie kinda mess where I had "everything I want"(actually,"anything I can").I extend my heartfelt thanks to our mess committee for equipping me with steel intestines that can digest even 10 betel nuts at a time.

Classes

Classes were horrible.Each class of 1 hour duration seems to be as long as powercut in Bihar. I remember there was 1 teacher who use to give lecture on environmental science.Almost 80% of the time(sometimes even 120%) he use to brag about himself that he has been to this place, that university, X project, Y research.blah blah...everyday.Cmon, who gives a damn whether he has been doing a research project in Oklahoma university in Japan or doing a project on Selassianna tribes of Jamaica.Eventually, I thought of giving him "SHUT UP AND TEACH" award. Guys..truly speaking...as far as I am concerned attending classes were just like forcing carbon to form pentavalent bonds.Strictly no no.

Thats all as per now.Ragging incidents in the next post.

Nostalgia

I still remember the day, 16th august -05 when I was sitting idle in 2670, Ganga Kaveri Exp., AS-II coach,seat no. 56, feeling pretty excited still mixed with a tingle of impending fear. Well, excited to join a college of my choice along with the branch I love(Okay,I lied) and frightened that I may be humiliated,molested,petrified,mortified by the savage seniors.

OHH.....by the way who am I...

So, This is Vineet Singh. A fresh passout from NIT Warangal('09) presently at Petrofac(an oil and gas industry) in Chennai.The only thing that I have learned in 1 month of my corporate life experiences is that I am not fit for it. Guys... tell you one thing,if the administration decides to fire just one guy from the newly recruited GETs( graduate Enginner Trainees)...unanimously they will choose me.

BUT who cares...(well, I do care).

About me...myself a guy who is very passionate and energetic.(Almost in all job interviews when they asked the two positivism in me, I blabbered this thing only).About my passion, heyy, I am a guy who loves Racing(with snails),Driving(tricycles and Bugattis),Hunting killer whales,Skydiving (without parachutes),Skateboarding on landslides, Surfing on Bullet trains and flying on paper kites.I have also been into cooking.I love making Dosas(esp. the stone variety) and these days I am also into animal welfare activities like raising Panda Bears and teaching them how to peel bananas.

I am a Bookworm( and not a bookworm bitch) too.My favourite novels:

1. Harry Potter and book of lousy sequels

2. A Dolt who sold his Ferrari.

3. Mein Kampf (no one gave a damn).

And my personal hot favorite ....

4. Histoire de ma vie(it was ultimate as I didnt understand a word of it, spanish aint my thing or is it french..either way, who cares).

In nutshell, I read a lot...encyclopedia in particular.

I think its enough. You cant digest anymore I guess.

Okay..back to College in my next post.